What is it with recovery weeks that gets me out of sorts. I seem to roll into knowing that it is what I need and totally embrace the week gung-ho style. By the end of the week - I feel nutty and out of sorts. I start the week full of "I so need this" & "all this laying around is so awesome" or "look I am sleeping in". I totally embraced the laziness of this week. Alas by the end of week, I felt like okay did that resting thing and ready to move on but with no where to move on to but more resting and relaxing.
I also got news that my labs that I thought would indicate how awesome I am doing and in fact did not say that all and indicate I need to address a few things yet and that I will need some type of hormone med after all. It is sort took the wind out of my sail a bit. I have been struggling with that all week. Really with my whole heart I thought I could do get my body well and healed without hormone meds. If I ignored the labs than I could be looking at a worse problem down the road even with this honeymoon period of feeling good. I am told that the thyroid needs some support or it may really shut down on me one day. What kind of support is yet to be determined and is a source of uncertainty. I have to do a 24 hr Saliva Test tomorrow that will tell us what my Adrenals are doing and if they affecting my thyroid function. Than go from there...lots of questions in my head and I just have to remain in faith that all the answers will come exactly when they need to but until than I will remain focused on my goal.
Even though I did a little fear in this week and had a good cry or two just out of frustration with this thing.
Honestly I sometimes wonder if this road is ever going to stop testing me. Yes parts of me just wants this all to be easier. Like set a goal, do the work, chase it with your whole heart and it is yours. Not set a goal, dance with it a bit, make you nutty, make you cry, make you pick up chin over and over again and say I will keep trying no matter what. I guess the truly great things do not come the easy way. No more "Woe is me" .....I have to turn it all into "Wow is me".