You know I have been wanting to write about this since I ran Myrtle Beach - well jogged it. When I made the decision not to race and run it easy, I did so knowing that people would wonder about my time. They wouldn't have the decency to call me, message me, or connect with me but they would go behind my back and look up my time and make all kind of assumptions. I knew this would happen and it did.
People if I wanted to share my race experience with you. I would have. I would called you like I called/texted you and told you how disappointed and frustrated that I could not run the race I had hoped to be able to be able too but I was embracing the experience and knowing it part of my journey.
I was going to show up, be the best me even grinding though a tough run knowing I was not going to even come close to my slowest half marathons time and that people YES were going to look up my time and judge me and my experience. I was a bit upset about that and my husband asked me why I even cared? I do not know why I cared but I did.
But guess what I remembered this writing by Theodore Roosevelt the Man in the Arena which gave me some defiance in the face of judgement and superficial concern. Guess what people? Unless you are running with Hashimotos or thyroid disease, you do not get to judge my experience. You have no idea the highs and lows of this devastating disease.
Sometimes I will be on top of the world and running is clicking and sometimes for no reason at all running becomes oh so difficult. It is not the same sort of I am having a bad day difficult and it is not the I am out of shape cause I have not been training difficult. It is something so completely different. My husband asked me what is was like when I told him how difficult that 13.1 was for me. It is sort of like when you are sprinting as hard as you can and you just need to stop cause your heart is pounding, your breathing is going erratic and you feel like you are going to puke - yup that is what a bad running day feels like for someone with Hashimotos.
So unless you are in the arena and getting knocked around yourself, I am not interested in your feedback or superficial concern.
When you step into a following your dreams, you are going to get beat up, sometimes things are not going to work out, it is going to hurt like hell, and you are going to get knocked around a bit.
It is not about winning or losing or PRing, it is about showing up! If you show up in the arena, you are going to get your ass kicked around a bit but breaking through to your dreams can not be done without the courage to show up and face something you know maybe not turn out well.
You have to have the courage to jump, take risks that might not pan out, you must not listen to your critics, you need to risk your heart being broken 10 times over and trust life to help you mend it.
And than trust that the ass kicking is taking you in the direction of your dreams, goals, ambitions.
Live, Love, Be Courageous and above all else DARE GREATLY!