So I am literally forcing myself to write this as I need to get out what I am feeling and writing always helps me to do so.
I felt very hopeful in the days leading up to Bayshore that I would feel as good on race day as I had felt in some of my awesome workout days. I had a slight glitch about 4 days out from the marathon that I tried to say positive about and not worry about.
Here is it, so if you read this blog for any period of time you know that I an autoimmune disorder called Hashimotos. It can make my swing from hyper-thyroid to hypo-thyroid states and for periods of time I can be normal. I manage the disorder with diet and other natural ways. I do not take hormone meds as they always makes things worse. So anyway I monitor my metabolic (thyroid) health by taking my rising temps everyday. If they are higher than normal, I know that my body is in a hyper state and if lower than I am hypo and normal is normal.
So long story short, I had been normal for weeks and about 4 days before I noticed a 1 degree increase but luckily I wasn't experiencing the rapid heart rate and breathlessness that I usually feel when I am hyperthyroid. So I was staying positive that even if I was hyper at the moment that it was a mild swing and it would be good on race day. I felt great in most all way so I was staying super positive that all would be fine on race day
At the start of the race and in the first few miles, I never felt good but kept hoping I would feel better as the miles clicked by. That can happen to me when the first couple miles of a workout feel difficult and than it turns and I feel great. So I was hoping for that but it just never happened. I feel like I was working really hard and difficult to get air.
I also wonder if the allergy/pollen level had anything to do with that as it was bloom season in Traverse City as they were just starting to get their spring.
Either way thyroid or allergy season, I just did not feel good.
I did make a pacing error in the first 6 miles. I had planned to go out about 10-15 seconds slower than I actually did go out. My garmin wasn't working in the first couple of miles so I relied on my speedy friend to pace us through the first few miles and I let the pace get quicker than planned. As soon as I realized that I was going too fast, I let my friend go and try to resettle into my race plan. I do not think my fade at the end would have been as bad if those first miles didn't go out so quick.
I was grinding these miles away on mental will not to let another marathon end up in a DNF. I really thought crap what the heck at mile 16. I felt so relieved when I saw the 20 mile sign know I would finish this one. I finished with a time of 3:32:18 - yup that ties my PR exactly to the second :-) and my 3rd 3:32.
I have so mixed emotions on this race. I was very happy and relieved that I was able to finish and not fall completely apart. I was satisfied with how I performed mentally but part of me is questioning why it wasn't there. I gave it my best shot and know that it is just a step in my journey.
I have another marathon on the horizon, so we shall see if I can get lucky :-) I can shake this one off and set my mind and focus on the whats to come. Keep moving forward!
And at the end of the day, I know I am beyond blessed to be pursing my passion and crossing finish lines at all. Bayshore marked my 16th marathon in 5 years.
For now it is a bit of recovery..........