Heal and Rise

I promise I would write in to try to document my journey back to whole health. As I wrote in my last post. I am really feeling the energy return to my body. It's like a switch took place and my body seems to be processing energy differently.

Maybe my liver is functioning well now? Maybe we have manage to lower the viral load? Maybe my hormones are naturally balancing out?

I have taken so many small steps over these past 3 weeks.

I think all the steps together are moving me in the right direction.

I not sure what is going on but things are moving in the happiest direction. I have had 2 runs in a role where I am felt really good. Yesterday just an easy 4 for that I didn't want to stop because I felt so good and today a workout of 4 x 1 mile at 7:30 to 7:40.

Really pleased with how today went! I never felt strained or liking I was reaching for something that wasn't there. It was there and it felt good! Gives me so much hope for regaining not only my health but my that I feel good running and love running feeling that I have missed so so so much.

I have dreamt of what it would feel like running with ease again. That is what is pulling me through. That day when I can get on the road with my energy and my soul and spirit in higher.

It feels like it is coming back. Part of me is scared to acknowledge for fear that it shall pass through my fingers. Part of me wants to scream and tell anyone that will listen.

My energy is back! My energy is back! My body is working again! My body is working again!!

I want it to be so bad. Not only for me though but for my family and for I one day meet that I can help with my story and being able to share with them how I healed.

As I heal and rise again, I know my struggle had purpose and serves as part of my special journey. My pain turned my heart to becoming more and helping others find their way through this struggle.

Finding Joy

I am having a really good week! I can feel my body and energy returning to my body.

More than just my the energy  returning it feels more like life, happiness and joy are returning which is the surest sign I am healing. I can feel the happy buzz and light filling the places that were dark just weeks ago.

It has been a slow steady thing over the past few weeks since Boston.

What's crazy is I am happy and feel the joy even though I am not yet where I hope to be. I have yet to lose the weight gained from my time spent on thyroid meds. I no longer care how long it will take me to lose the weight.

What is more important than the losing the weight is finding that sparkle of love, joy and happiness in me every day when I wake in the past week.

I feel connected to myself again! This is the most important thing ever to me. To access to myself again.

When the dark days were surrounding me the most discerning thing was the not the weight gain, the bloating, the sadness, or the anger but not being able to connect to that happy buzz of warm energy that is me and that is god.

I know I will be okay and I will heal fully if can feel that part of me.

No matter how tired I may feel in my recovery and healing I know I will be okay when that warmth is surrounding me.