Being Happy

Today I delighted when I ran into a friend that I don't get to see very often and our encounter was brief but nonetheless delightful. We do not get to see each other much as she had a new baby to care for and I have had my head stuck in the mudd of my running world. We exchanged hellos and how we miss each others happy souls. I told her I needed some of her happy energy more regularly and she agreed on the same need. Than she said something that has been on my mind. She said everyone always asks me - "Is she really that happy?"   Mind you this a small community where you are linked to everyone somehow and even if you do not someone chances are they know you.  I laughed thinking is that how people perceive me. I laughed and smiled  and automatically responded that I chose happiness as my main emotion.

I have spent part of day thinking about how happiness is a choice. That you can choose happy :-)

Shine on & Be Happy!

Finding the Place where the Boom Bands are Playing

For some of you know that my favorite book ever is Oh the Places you will go! I have read it so many times to myself and my children that I can read the whole book in my head. My daughter and I especially love reading all Dr.Seuss books together. Anyway I digress - Lets get back to the title of the blog post and really something that has been in my head over and over these past few days. I just keep thinking I want to get back to the place where Boom Bands are playing.

Here is an excerpt from that portion of the book for reference - 

Somehow you'll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You'll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.

With banner flip-flapping,
once more you'll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you're that kind of a guy!

But for now this is where I am at and finding contentment in this place -

There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.

But on you will go
though the weather be foul
On you will go
though your enemies prowl
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.

On and on you will hike
and I know you'll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.

I know that I will eventually get back to where the Boom Bands are playing I am just in a place where I am cultivating peace with what is and loving life no matter what circumstances may pop up.

Let the Good Times Roll

I will start with WOW that 22 miler at the end of 85 mile was a doozy! I think the biggest issue I had was I felt my energy stores were low as it wasn't as fast as I had hoped. I think my Garmin read average 8:50 overall but that takes in account that at mile 12, we stopped for our drinks and had wait on another runner to use bathroom so I think that was like 3 minute add on to that time as I didn't turn my garmin off during that time. I had hoped to keep it a more moderate pace long run rather than all easy but I was feeling it by mile 16 and my paced dipped all of sudden that was my slowest mile and after I stopped for my last water & gel, I was able to get back a decent pace but thoughts of shortening the run to 20 played in my head over and over again from 16 miles to 20 miles and than I was like what the heck "nothing hurts and you are still standing just finish it up" and that I did. I will say I have never been so hungry as after this run!!

I have one more week of big miles and than we are going to do a mini-taper for Myrtle Beach Marathon. At this point, I am  not racing it but using as another training run. I still have hope that the meds will have stabilized me by than I might be able to push it at MB. I have a short and moderate tempo scheduled for early next week to see how I handle it. So a good balance of hope and realism. I  will be ready emotionally to handle either outcome. And if MB ends up being just a training run, I will enjoy that as well as I would a race.  My family will be going for a mini-vaca and than onward to Boston! That will set me up well for 8 weeks of training for Boston and maybe I will be pushing it at Boston.

I am confident that I am on the right course and all is working for the good!

So Tired Not much to Say - Week In Review

Week In Review

Monday (AM) 8.5 easy (PM) 3.5 easy
Tuesday 12 easy
Wednesday 10 easy with 8 X 10 second Hill Sprints
Thursday (AM) 4 easy (PM) 8 easy
Friday 10 easy
Saturday 7 easy +strides
Sunday 22 easy

Total Miles = 85

Adapt & Overcome

I thought I would write about this just because it is on my mind. Overall this week, I have felt worlds better overall. High energy and really feeling good overall and think the meds have finally kicked in. I am pretty happy about this feeling and hadn't realized how tired and fatigued I was until this week. I have not been as tired and given this is my highest mileage week ever that is a bit surprising.

Well I am not sure it is all going to be as simple as get on meds, feel better, run better. I got a call from my sport med dr on Tuesday saying I needed to go an endocrinologist because some of the numbers on the thyroid panel were concerning and needed to be addressed and referred me to an endocrinologist  I told them to send me the results in the mail and I wanted to research my options and not just go any old endo. Based on the results, I do not have thyroid disorder I have a what is called Hashimoto's disease which is a autoimmune disorder in which your body is attacking the thyroid which causes the thyroid to either overproduce TSH or under-produce TSH.  So you can swing between hyper & hypo dramatically but the key is to get it stabilized so further damage is not done.  I am still seeing my general practioner dr and she took blood on Thursday to see what the TSH reading is and if we can get it stabilize through Synthroid alone or if they need to add a T3 replacement to the mix. I also need to look into being gluten free as many Hashimoto peps have gluten issues so I may be overhauling my diet as well to help alleviate symptoms to run better and for long-term health issues.

While this is a lot to take in I am confident that God gave me this issue because I can handle it and that is just part of the journey. I will OVERCOME :-) hehe

Note to Self

Do the hard work. No excuses. Period. 

Someday, Somehow, what you sow, you will reap, stay in faith, stay hopeful, stay in love with the process, keep that chin looking up and towards the stars and the heavens above.

Do the work. Let God. Results will show up when they are suppose. No amount of forcing will make them show before it is God's will.

Wait on the Lord. What is waiting for me will not pass me by...

Becoming a fighter

So I sort of talked about how I got "pissed off" at Charleston when my body did not want to cooperate. In retrospect, I believe that it was a good thing that I finally got pissed because what came out of that feeling was something very powerful. I think it sparked a feeling of pure determination that I believe I needed to summons to get me through this test. I remember thinking fine this is all there is today but this will not be how my stories ends . I became more determined to fight through this and marshall every resource to overcome. At mile 8, when circumstances may have  made me crumble to tears, I turned inward with prayers and the resolve that came from those moments in my own head was a fighter attitude. I knew that giving up was not an option and right than I knew I had to fight. At that moment, I became a fighter.

Since that spark, my motivation level for training has been high and the resolved to see this through has deepened.

I think prior to this event, I was losing motivation to fight and train. Runs were becoming slower and my attitude was teetering. It was taking much more mental fight to even run my recovery runs.

So defiantly I am training my heart out this week and very optimistic that all will come together when it suppose too!

Developing Strength

I was thinking about this on my run today on how I believe God took my physical strength away so that I had to develop more mental strength.

A while back I wrote down what will it take for me to reach my goal in my running jounrel and what I wrote was "strong-mind". I knew that in order to really get to the level I want to be at in running, I needed to ultimately develop the ultimate muscle & tool - the mind. I know this has been my weakness over the years.

Physically I can handle anything. I do not think my body even knows what pain is and that is why I am able to push when others would cry. I have birthed my babies naturally while smiling my way through it. I remember the nurses saying I could not be in transition because I was still smiling. That is just what I do smile. One of my regular gals that massages me, she is an Eastern European gal that likes to administer pain. I think she takes special pride in people squirming on the table. She is always baffled at me not feeling pain. There was a time when I was laying there drifting off to sleep while getting my massage and she says Jamie - do you feel that? Me - what? It feels good?? And she was No, Jamie, you muscles are twitching like they are in pain and you lay there sleeping and smiling.
Or the times when I have had runs that I should felt something like 20X400s or 2X6 miles hard or at the end of a marathon when people talk about it being painful. There many times that I should feel physical pain but yet it never registers to my mind or I have always had an ability to relax into pain/discomfort.

Now mentally, this is where I need to develop strength and I have know it for sometime. In the past, I have let little things in my head to distract me from my goal(s), I have let myself off the hook in races, and I have let my mind dwell where it should not go.

I truly believe if I can live up to this poem below my mind will be so strong that when the physical and mentally are combined that is when I have reached the point where amazing stuff can happen.

Thank you to my dear friend Kimberly for sharing this with many months ago :-) I re-read it all the time!

Promises to Yourself By Christian D. Larsen

Promise yourself…. 
To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind;

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet;

To make all your friends feel that there is something in them;

To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true;

To think only the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best;

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own;

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future;

To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile;

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others;

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear; and too happy to permit the presence of trouble;

To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words, but in great deeds;

To live in the faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you.

Rollercoasters & Monorails

Which one are you riding? 

I thought about this as my coach had messaged me to prepare for the rollercoaster ride of the next couple of weeks. I thought - Geez, I think I have already been on that rollercoaster for a while now which made me start thinking about what real rollercoasters are like. I had worked 5 summers as a ride hosts at Cedar Point Amusement Park that has some of the biggest, baddest coaster on record. I started thinking about those rollercoasters - the huge climbs building excitement and the cresting of the hill and the deep drops - why do people ride these things?  They are terrifying yet so thrilling! No matter how many times you ride them your adrenal rushes through you as you climbing high.

And then there is the Monorail. It is a pleasant and safe ride with nothing unexpected.  You can safely tour the area in a pleasant indoor space. No wind in your hair or bugs in your teeth. While there are no downs on this ride there are also no UPs. Just steady in one direction at one pace...It is safe and it is easy.

This made me think about the choices we make that define us and our outcomes - Are you willing to get on the rollercoaster where you are going to climb to new heights, squeal with excitement and delight but also face the deep lows that come with the excitement?

Or are you on the safe Monorail having a pleasant time but lacking in that true excitement?

I'll stay on my rollercoaster ride!!!! Sign me up!

Big Week on tap

Even though I will not be working out this week!! I am totally excited by my goal for the week! To go over 80 miles!!! Woo hoo! I have hit 75, 76, 77, 78 and 80 once I am thinking maybe at one point I may have hit 80. I have to go back and look to be sure but this week will be over 80 so it will be a mileage PR and setting the course for stronger tomorrows! I remember last year when I hit 70 for the first time and than 77 for the first time - it was scary and uncharted territories  Both my initial climbs had to be done with care - lots of prehab and TLC to keep the body going and in check. And I know that those weeks were exhausting and beat me up a bit. After more weeks than not in the 70s in 2012, I am now ready to go into the 80s! Funny thing is I thought that in the fall I would hit this milestone earlier but I have to admit running in the 70s is hard and trying to get over the hump of uppers 70s is harder!! It includes running doubles and several longer runs. It is way harder than I had thought to go into the 80s, so here is to a week of milestones!!! I am excited to get over the hump!

Making a hard decision & Week in Review

I have been on the thyroid medication for over 2 weeks now and I think I am feeling it but I think that my body is trying to adjust cause I have not been able to run fast. Can not really describe the feeling of trying to run a faster pace which should come naturally but struggling and feeling very yucky while trying to do it. Early in the week, I attempted a tempo and had to shut it down as 7:25-7:30 which is my MP felt like I was trying to run 6:30pace. Than on Saturday where I ran a half in an attempt to run all the miles at marathon pace, I was starting to feel way bad around miles 4-6. Than by mile 8, I started feeling a weird, heart fluttering sensation that was accompanied with a feeling off like dizzy and calmly and a bout of nausea. I slowed down dramatically while trying not to panic. I worked to calm myself down and not let frustration set in. The pace went from 7:30s to 8:00s for a couple miles than I was able to collect myself and starting running in the 7:40s. Not what I had hoped to be able to run but I was defiant in my attitude that I will not let this be the end of my story and that with some patience and perseverance that All things are possible with Christ who strengthens me. I can honestly say that after this bout I was pissed off a bit but that anger just made me more resolved that I will not let this stop me and will continue to work to find a way to my dream.

After recapping with my coach about the weekend, he made the call to stop training especially until my body adjusts to the medication. At first, I felt like I was sucker punched when I had read that I was to stop training but knew after letting it sit that Jeff was making the right call.  The problem being is the heart can be very much in danger if the medication level is not right. Running hard puts me at risk for heart issues until my medication is exactly right. This process is a trial and error of finding the medication level & combinations that are right for my body. Too much medication can cause just as many issues as too little and it will take time for them to get me to the perfect level. So while I will not stop running, I will no longer be doing workouts and targeting races. This was a hard pill to swallow but the bright side is we are going to use this a traditional base building period and work to build my mileage up which will set me to get in great shape quick when my hormone level is balanced. 

I am excited to see how high I can build the mileage in the coming months :-) 

I have to know and quote my older sister when she comforted me with - All things work together for the good.

Sometime what we see as a setback or obstacle are just preparing the way to receive greater gifts.

Week in Review

I took a day off mainly cause I was very tired and my legs felt thrashed mid-week plus I thought if I were a bit more rested than I might run well on the Saturday Half.

Monday 8 easy

Tuesday 10 easy

Wednesday 12 easy

Thursday Off

Friday 6 easy + Strides

Saturday 20 - 13 miles @ 7:50(Half)

Sunday  10 recovery

Total 66 miles

Taking what the Road gives you!

The title for this blog post came to mind when using it in as a closing sentence in an email to my coach. We both have had to change our thinking on how to handle my training going forward especially as my body adjusts to the thyroid medication (synthetic hormone). I have been on it for a little over a week now and it is a wait and see game. I am not sure if it is my head but I have been more energetic in the past couple of days. Waking easy in the AM, not wanting to crawl into bed at 3PM, 5PM, 6PM, 7PM, etc....the last 2 evenings I have had energy and feel like I can get some stuff done after the kids go to sleep. Usually I am comastosed on the bed or couch in the evenings trying to muster the strength to stretch and do some prehab work before bed. But ah I feel since of energy that I haven't felt in a while who knows it if is me sleeping more, eating well, less stress in general or the thyroids but I hope this trend continues.

Anyway back to taking what the road gives you. In general, I have been super relaxed about what each training day holds, just really taking what the road gives me and not judging it or myself. The habit of my fall training of internalziing every bad run and letting it take some of my confidence is not going to happen any longer. I am fit! I am actually very fit! I am super fit!! hehehe You get the gist! Anyway the habit of letting my bad easy days somehow define how my perception of how fit I am is no longer a habit. A bad and/or super slow easy day is no reflection of how fit I am, it is just that my body is tried and trying to recover. Pushing it to run faster does me no good at all. It just digs me a bigger hole of more recovery time and limits my ability to run fast when I need to.  Now my mind clings to my workouts as how fit I am and I have had some amazingly fast workouts in the last 6 months. I have remember all those rather the bad days.

I once read a quote about not focusing on what is going wrong but focus on what is going right.

I am fit!

I am healthy!

My body can handle an amazing workload that even surprises me at times.

I am strong-minded!

I have a huge support system!

I have every resource I could possibly need to do this thing.

I have faith!

I will get there one day and until then I will take what the road gives me!

Worth the Wait

 

 

This reminds me of the something my daughter said the other night. She has been determined to be Student of the Month from the beginning of the school year. This is where each teacher in the school selects a child from his/her class to be Student of the Month for their classroom. My daugther has wanted it so bad. In the first couple of months that it didn't happen, she struggled with different feelings. One month one of the other girls in the same grade on our street got Student of the Month. I saw my daugther struggling between her own sadness that she didn't get it and wondering why her friend got it before she did and wanting to be happy for her friend. She did come in the house and cry a bit. I told her that God wants her to be happy for her friend and just because she didn't yet get Student of the Month doesn't mean she isn't going to get it one day. She just had to be happy, do her best everyday and it will happen. Anyway long story short, she came home the other day so happy!! She annouced her friend Emily got student of the month! She told me she was so happy for her friend that her heart ached!!!

 

That made me so genuinely proud of her and the way she worked through this :-) Now she says to me every morning "Mommy, I believe I can be Student of the Month" :-) Oh Baby girl!! She will one day get it and be so much more proud of herself and it will fill her heart with joy in a way that only truly working and waiting for something of value can give you!

 

I can just imagine her joy when she tells me one day she got Student of the Month.

 

The best things in life are worth the wait!!!

 

 



Lord Willing I will Overcome - Week in the Review

This week was an exercise in faith and knowing these trials are just working to refine me into the runner that I need to be. After my Tuesday workout, deep fatigue had set in which took 2 days of running really slow to bring me back from. Thankful for the friends that have supported me and reached out with encouragement or to run real slow with me on my recovery days. I am thankful that even with the obstacles, I am finding my way with the guidance from upon and feeling blessed with every step that I take even the slowest miles have made me so happy.

Monday 8 easy
Tuesday 2 w/u, 7 Steady State, 2 c/d
Wednesday 6 recovery
Thursday 8 recovery
Friday 3 w/u, 4 X 1.5 mile (7:12, 7:06, 7:05, 7:04), 2 c/d
Saturday 9 Recovery
Sunday 18 Easy
Mileage Total - 70 miles

JER 29:11

I have begin to truly to see that setbacks or obstacles aren't really meant to stop you but they are TESTS and SOUL & MIND STRENGTHERS! I recently came across this Zen Budhhist quote that resonated with me and has been sitting with me ever since.

The Obstacle is the Path!

How delicious is that!!! OMG for me it was eye opening and meant so much and provided clarity to my current direction on my path. I was sharing with my PT about how much I love this quote and what it meant and he said so you want to go down the path with more obstacles? My response was "Yes, it is the road less taken" and to which he responded "okay, Robert Frost". heheheh Anyway but it really highlighted for why people in general do not take the road less taken and really it is mostly that it is lined with obstacles and soul stretchers! This path forces you to hurt and be uncomfortable but those are the exact things that make you stronger and that is the stuff of greatness! No success story is every about someone who had it easy or about someone taking the logical and known quantity! Success comes about from going into the unknown with the belief that something in you is greater than your current circumstances say is possible! Success comes from the willingness to go through some things that may knock you down so you can pick yourself up stronger, it comes from great hurt so that you can become more compassionate, gratitude and understanding of the gifts that are going to bestowed upon you! The path less taken is the one that has you reaching your potential.

Last night as I was taking a hot relaxing bath before bed, I looked up to a sign I have had hanging in my bathroom. It has been there as wall art for 4 years as I loved the quote but last night I realized the depth of its meaning.

Go confidently, in the direction of your dream.

I realized the going down the path of your dreams you have obstacles to overcome but have confidence that you will overcome and that your dream is divine in nature and God will always be there along the way even when circumstances may appear otherwise. Have confidence and Faith that you are on the right path! God is using everything to prosper you!! Stay in Faith!!





Another Effort Only Run

So here is a vlog I did right before I struggled through a progression run. Just 2 days after a big weekend I had a 7 mile hard effort that I do not think my body was ready for. This weekend took a big toll on me both mentally & phyiscally and I can not say that  my body was a willing participant in todays big effort.

I started at 7:50ish pace and than started trying to drop the pace but in mile 3 my body was not having it. The harder I tried to push under 7:40 the closer I came to vomiting. Some many things started crashing through my mind - WTF was one of them :-) But I knew that this pace should not feel difficult and again the effort & pace were not matching up so I wanted to make sure to get the whole of the workout in and started trying to figure how I was going to run 7 miles hard when I was near vomiting at mile 3. I decided I needed to pull back on pace and not let the garmin to decide effort. Let my body decide whatever it needed to be and not look at the garmin for the remainder of the run. So I worked on keeping pace hard, relaxing and pep talking myself for the next 4 miles. I started think shit if I ever feel this bad at the end of a marathon, start practicing on how to keep my shit together mentally. So I did that ... a couple things came to mind - I started thinking you are already in pain and working hard - get something from it - make it count. So again while pace was not crazy awesome, my mental attitude was! I am proud of myself for struggling while feeling awlful - I didn't stop and I didn't fall apart when I felt really bad - VERY GOOD PRACTICE!

Here is how it went - 2 w/u, 7 @  7:44 - 7:52, 7:46, 7:45, 7:45, 7:45, 7:38, 7:40, 2 c/d = 11 miles

I am tired tonight! So tired that I could not form sentences or thoughts at dinner. My sweet hubby told me go rest I will put the kids down. Love him!!!

A week of highs and lows - Week in Review

So happy to have made it through this week with a couple of wins. The week was rounded out with a 20 miler today. While going into this weekend, my coach told me to go into each run with the intention of running easy but if "in-run" I felt good go ahead and press. That is how today played out as well. I ran the 12 miles easy @ 8:45 average - never felt amazing but what was I suppose to felt like in a 70 mile week so I tested the waters with a couple MP miles knowing I was going to pull back and run in easy if I felt horrible. Never felt super amazing but my legs were turnover nicely and I just let me go even through my tummy wasn't feeling it and had that calmy sick feeling but I was able to just let the legs go and work through that other stuff by working on relaxing. Nailed 6 miles @ 7:21 average - 7:25, 7:25, 7:20, 7:23, 7:22, 7:13 and than cooled down with 2 easy miles to make 20 miles. Yay!

Monday 8 easy
Tuesday 10 easy
Wednesday 2 w/u & 3X2.5 & 1 c/d
Thursday 6 Recovery
Friday 10 Recovery
Saturday 10 with 8 @ steady pace
Sunday 20 with 6 @MP or faster

Mileage Week Total - 74 miles

Steady State Success

WOW What a difference a day makes! Yesterday I struggled to run 10 miles @ 9:45 average and today I ran 8 miles steady @ 7:32 average and just days ago I struggled to hit that pace in a tempo interval workout.

I had no idea how I would fair today with yesterday being very difficult and my mid-week tempo interval workout emptying the tank. My coach and I decided that I needed to go into my weekend workouts with the intention of going easy and letting my body determine effort "in-run". I just needed to relax and let it happen if I felt decent. There has been no rhythm or reasons to the days I feel good and the days I feel like a truck hit me so really I have no idea what my body is going to be up for when I start running. I just have to go with the flow and allow the day to be what is going to be.

Today was one of the good days when I feel pretty okay when I started out. I wasn't sluggish and didn't have the calmy, fluish feeling so after my first mile being easy I started to work into my steady pace (7:30-7:40). Felt decent with first mile being 7:40 so I just keep rolling and allowing the run to come to me.

7:40, 7:36, 7:33, 7:35, 7:35, 7:33, 7:30, 7:25

I felt good and smooth the whole time. I knew I could press the pace harder if I wanted to but I was more concerned with not emptying the tank as I have a 20 miler tomorrow. So just concentrated on a smooth & consistent pace that wasn't too taxing on my body.

Nice day!

I just liked this - so I thought I would share :-) As it made me smile, I hope it makes some else out there smile too!!

Today I fell into bucket of fear

Day started off great..I felt refreshed from a 10 hr nights sleep. I forced myself to go to bed early last night. I started a new sleep routine to get myself in the groove to go to sleep at the right time. I stopped all computer interactions at 5PM, got kids to sleep by 7PM, relaxed a little with hubby watching a show and than proceed with my evening stretch routine, got ready for bed and crawled into bed with a book and lights out at 9PM. Now I just have to repeat that routine here on out so that I can maximum my recovery. This thyroid thing reinforced my need for my recovery & sleep. I really sometimes take it that my body can hammer out 60-70 mile weeks but it does catch up with me if I am not as regimented with the sleep so this is one of the things that needed changing in the New Year.

Anyway I got off topic..my fear episode - So I was excited to get to my run as the weather perfect in the 40s and lots of sun. I headed to my favorite trail - Riverwalk and started going but I didn't exactly feel peppy at all which is funny cause I only ran 6 slow & easy miles on Thursday so I was expecting to feel good. When the first mile went into the second mile and I was feeling like I was working, I glanced down at my garmin and it read 10:30 pace. WHAT!!! I really shouldn't be wearing a watch on these runs for this exact reason cause panick and fear started to set in. I must admit I have been teetering on edge of fear for the past week and I think at that moment I let the flood gates of fear in that I had been holding back since I got my diagnose. By mile 2, 2.39 to be exact, the floodgates had opened and I was swimming in that bucket of fear. Tears were rolling and I couldn't think of anything but how did I get here??? The pity party that I refused to have was in full swing in my head. All the the hard work I had done and I can't run even get to a 9 minute mile and my thighs have gotten to big and all the stupid stuff you let yourself feel when you are indulging in the woe is me's. I am so lucky I was running cause the run helped me work through all these silly fears that have been there but I was refusing to entertain them. I spent really 4 miles knowing I can't stay swimming in these fears and sooner I got out the better. The tears eventually stopped and I slowly was able to soothe myself. I was at least running..I was moving forward..slowly but I was moving forward. Forward progress is all you can really hope for. I was able to work through all those fears and my heart and mind become lighter. All of sudden my pace when from 10s to 9s with ease. WOW - What I realize is fear is very heavy! It can weigh you down big time. Once I release myself of these fears, my body was able to move, my mind was free and my heart was uplifted to the tune of finisher off a 10 miler completely content.

Effort is Everything

HAHA :-) So today I went into the PT just to have some upkeep done my shin. I do not want it coming back so I got some prehab work on it as it had felt tight in my last two runs. Anyway I was telling him that I about thyroid condition. I said something to the effect just watch out when I get my body regulated and I will finally have loads of energy and no longer be so depressed. Totally joking cause anyone knowing me would say that I am far from depressed and lacking energy but that is the great thing the meds are suppose to help me be more energetic!! Ha - Jamie 10X !!! hehehe Anyway no luck on starting up today as Dr office telephoned to say that the labs is backed up from the holidays and uptick winter related illness. So I will have to wait. Thankfully I have my health so I patiently I will wait knowing that the delay is not stopping the inevitability of my comeback in 2013!

I had a workout that wasn't as easy as I had hoped and I had to fight through it. I did not feel good in my warm-up but often is the case where you don't feel particularly awesome and can go on to rock a workout. Today did not go like that. Today was a day I did not feel good from beginning to end but I never gave up and saw the workout through to completion. So there is a win in there!

Do what you can with what you have on any given day!

Did I want to call it a day at the end of interval #1 - Yes - Did I want to call a day after Interval # 2 - Very much! Did I want to stop and vomit during interval #3 - Yes, 2X!! Did I stop - Nope! Did I vomit - Nope! Am I tired - You bet!! Did I rock the pace - Not so much! Did I rock out effort-wise? You bet!!

So effort and pace aren't always the same thing - sometimes the pace will not reflect the effort you are giving due lots of reasons but for me if I am not sufficiently recovered from other runs that it seems like workouts are much harder so I will work to keep easy pace easier especially given the thyroid condition at the moment. If the thyroid is stressed it can take the body much longer to recover so I need to be extra patient.

Today I did the best I could do both physically and mentally to keep this workout from going off the rails plus I ran really hilly routes so there is that too. I know the times do not neccassary the effort but I worked hard today nonetheless.

Workout was 2 w/u & 3 X 2.5 miles @ MP pace with 3 minutes rest

# 1 - 7:35
# 2 - 7:40
# 3 - 7:33

Happy New Year

Today has been brilliant! In a relaxing and happy way! Reflecting and so excited for the good that 2013 will bring.

Started the day with 10 refreshing miles with training partners that I have been running with more often. Very thankful to have them to pull me around on days I am not into pushing myself. I don't exactly feel like killing it on easy days and if left on my own I might let myself dawdle. Hoping than in a week or so that sluggish that I feel on some days will go away and I will feel strong more often in during runs.

Tomorrow I shall have the big talk with my sports dr about the thyroid panel and he'll put the call in on the meds that I hope I get to start tomorrow. I know it is going take a bit of time to really feel the effects of the meds but at least I won't be stressing my thyroid anymore furthering the fatigue and adding more weight to my thighs :-) I mean that in a loving way.

2013 for me marks change of seasons! I have faithfully planted seeds of faith and seeds of hardwork that I just have a feeling God is going let come to harvest. I feel this sense of certainty and so so so excited and hopeful.

I am believing that God is going bring some of my dreams to pass soon. I am believing that the past 3-4 months of ups & downs were ultimately needed to strengthen and discipline my mind. The physical part of running is easy. It is handling all the ups and downs that is the difficult part and I feel stronger and more ready to handle what may come next.

What will I do to keep working towards my dreams in 2013?? WHATEVER IT TAKES!!!!