Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Proving I am fit


So this idea came to mind after Charleston "no go" marathon. I needed to prove my fitness to myself. I knew on some level that I am super fit but have not been able to prove it in a race setting. For whatever reason, these have not lined up for me to race with this fitness that I know is there.

On Tuesday, I decided I would run a marathon pace or faster progressive long run. Not really knowing exactly how I would feel or what paces I would hit, I just went into open minded. I decide I would warm up for 2-4 miles @ 8:06-8:40 and than move to 7:53, 7:47, 7:35, 7:30, 7:25, 7:19, 6:53, 6:48, 6:31 and than 2 cool down easy miles in 8:30 range. Amazing I felt completely comfortable this whole run even in the last mile of the progression. I was chatting to someone in the room while I was the treadmill. I never felt strained or forced. Only tired from concentrating my efforts on a treadmill for that long.

What I took from this run was when the pressure is off me I do really well. Whether some of my problems on race day are health related or not I still think I let fear get the best of me. When there is no pressure to perform well I do not sabotage myself and get myself worked up and do stupid things like take a thyroid pill knowing full well that I did not need.

From here I grow and know more is possible...

I keep finding pieces of my puzzle and putting them into place.

I am well, I am healthy, I am growing and I am HAPPY!!!

Couldn't be more perfect!

Sunday, January 26, 2014

Race Update and Some thoughts


This post is about a week behind because after the race we left immediately to go on vacation and have spent the last 8 days on a cruise ship in the Pacific ocean.

I have to say if you are going to have a terrible race day it is best to go on a cruise to lick your wounds, regroup and recharge. This was not how I envisioned the day or week but I can't think of a better way to regroup and recharge. Especially when you are surrounded by the magic of Disney and your family. I pretty much forgot about being a runner with big goals for a week. I ran a little but only if I felt like it and didn't force myself to go through the motions. I rested, relaxed, spent lots of time reading in the sun, drinking (bahama mamas) the afternoons away with my husband, enjoying fabulous dinners and shows in the evenings with my husband and children. It was just what my soul needed.

I came away feeling very positive and restored. I really started questioning if I was going down the right path after Charleston. Funny thing is every since Kiawah and probably at Kiawah, I felt myself feeling Hyperthyroid versus Hypothyroid which can happen with Hashimotos. You can swing between both states. I started backing off my hormone/meds. I was feeling better and watching my body temps responding and normalizing off meds. I was feeling amazing!! My thyroid was working on its own with no meds and my body temps were normal! Than bamb about 5 days before Charleston I took one of my hormone pills cause I thought I would test out of it I needed it cause my temps had dipped a tad. Big mistake as it took me over the edge. About 3 days before the race I definitely felt hyper! Not good but I had big hopes with 3 days to clear my system that I would be fine on race day. Nope that was the case at all. I knew about 5 miles in that I was not in a good state but though if I could hold my normal easy pace of 8-8:20 I could run a decent marathon. Well about mile 12-13 I was losing steam and my ankle was started to do something weird ( I think I tied my shoe to tight) and the more miles in the worse it was feeling. I knew by 16, I was toast and done so I took it in and finished 19 miles. I 100% knew I was making the right call and I was not upset at all doing as I knew was for the best. Not the outcome I had hoped for but sometimes you just have to be smart about it. In the hours after though in the long car ride, I would start questioning if I could do this. If this disease was going to limit my ability to chase my goals. That is what floated around my head for about 4 hours. I didn't have an answer but something I continued to ponder on and off through my trip.

While driving home today while reading one of my books, I came across this section where it talked about Whoopi Goldberg's dream of becoming an actress. She was a poor, young, single mom working 2 jobs for 7 years with no connections to hollywood but kept her dream alive in her heart when most would have give up hope.

No one thinks when they set out to do something big that is going to be heartbreakingly hard at times, it may seem impossible to others and sometimes you may question yourself. Through all this you have to hold onto the vision in your heart and mind and that will be enough to get you through the tough times.

When I read Whoopi's story, I cried. Somehow knowing that the success my heart seeks is not suppose to come easy brought me to tears. I also realized that I want my story to be about a girl with a dream/vision that weathered some pretty bad ass storms and came out on the other end. I will keep that vision in my heart and keep moving forward. I rather be that girl seeking something beautiful and big than a girl wondering why I didn't keep trying. I have come to a point where it would be harder to walk away from my dreams than to stay and fight for them.

No matter how long, no matter what - I will be here doing the only thing my heart knows how to do - Fight for what you love!


Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Catching ya up!

Endless possibilities

Well I promised to write more regularly but than I got a job. HA! It literally came out of nowhere. It is just one of the easy things that happen that you can not explain and still wonder how it worked out so perfectly. I am working for and with my old coach Jeff who owns RunnersConnect which is an on-line coaching company. He has expanded and his business is growing. I took a position as a Community Coach supporting his on-line community coaching for those runners choosing the Custom Training Plans

I literally started this position overnight. One day I have no idea that I will be working and the next day we are starting the ball rolling. I work from home 20-30 hours a week and get to be very flexible on when I log on daily. So I get to run, work, and be home with my kids when they come from school. DREAM JOB!!

It is very exciting! I feel so blessed to doing work that I love for someone that love. Jeff coached me for 2 years and did such a great job. He is one of those people in your life that do so much for you that you feel like you could never repay their kindness and effort. I feel like I get that chance working for him and taking care of his business and representing him with the best of my abilities.

So this is what I have been up to for the last 2 weeks. I have been getting in my runs. I eased off mileage for a couple days because my shin was bugging (damn new shoes). But I hoped back in and and feeling better good overall. I had a very awesome 2X3 miler last week and than happy 6 X 3 minutes this week so I say my speed is there.

I am running Charleston marathon this weekend. With all the attention being paid to my new lovely job and I spend less time thinking about my own running. I am very excited by all my possibilities beyond this marathon. I am excited about the training I will be implementing and places I will get to travel too and weaving in the opportunity that I have with RunnersConnect.

All the possibilities....


Tuesday, January 7, 2014

True Dhat

great things take time.

This quote is so unbelievable true!!! I can not even handle how much so it is. If you think of anything truly amazing in your life (my life) no one part of it came from an overnight thought/action. All of my life in all of its beauty has been created and born out of struggle and chaos. We all have a story, a history and pain that we either turned into something more beautiful or it sits inside us chipping away at our ability to love and embrace beauty. 

My Beautiful, Beautiful, Beautiful family was born out of struggle to conceive, through marital ups and downs, and my own fighting of depression and Hashimotos. I let those struggles turn into beautiful, joyous happiness that I see reflected back to me in my childrens face and the embraces I share with my husband.

My Home in all its warmth was born out a deep desire to have a home filled with love and warmth with a mom hugging and deeply loving her children. The vision and hope was born out of a child's heart (mine) as I was not bought up  with a mother in the mom for hugs, kisses and encouragement. When I step back and look at the beauty and warmth in my home, I know where this was created.

In my friendships, I have deep loving, nuturing, understanding, compassionate and open friendships that I work at and that a sanctuary of happiness for me. These friendship have shared love, happiness, joy, anger, sadness, grief, and TRUTH with me. This is connection and This is friendship.

I have Passion that I purse with all my heart. It is not something I woke one day deciding was me. It has always been me waiting for me to purse it with my love and faith. I nurture it and love it dearly. Just like a marriage or a friendship it ebs and flows. It is sometimes very good to me and sometimes I am at odds with the very thing I LOVE. I always find my back to it and it whispers to me when I think I have had enough. It is a beautiful thing this passion of mine. Where ever it is taking me, I know it is beautiful.....

We lose ourselves in the things we love . . . we find ourselves there, too.

Friday, January 3, 2014

Love Yourself

Can you write yourself a letter -a love note? With your hopes for the year and years to come? Can you own your awesome and love yourself a bit more in 2014 than you allowed ever before. You are awesome!

Love thy self

Here is something I wrote for myself -

Dear Brave Girl,
You are on the cusp of something amazing. You have let yourself be seen and you are free to be you, to follow where your heart leads, your truth. All of those dreams you have in your head will become realities. I'm glad you didn't listen to those negative voices, both yours and from others. You keep running, you know that's when your soul thrives. Keep sharing your experiences with others, it helps them more than you believe. You have traveled, made dear friends, overcome hurts and have had amazing experiences. Keep that faith my friend, your possibilities are out there waiting to become realities.
I love you!!

True healing begins with Love and Acceptance of yourself.

Blog post on Improving Yourself While Loving Yourself

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

New Years excitement

Wow. Well said.

Wow! I woke up excited today! I woke up thinking about my workout yesterday and excited for more workouts like that :-) It was a 2X4 mile with 2 minutes Rest. One of my favorite workouts. I went into with a general range in mind but with the flexibility to allow whatever pace felt the right effort to be the guide. Just a bit from 2 weeks after Kiawah and a fluctuating thyroid, I had no idea what I could run so I let it come to me. I thought if I could run 7:25-7:35 that would be a good run.

The first set of 4 miles felt a bit tough like I was working hard but I really think the wind was a huge factor. It felt like I was being tossed around and I had lots of resistance to work with. It was a cross wind so I never really had the wind at my back. During the 2 minute rest, I tied my shoe and grabbed a quick drink not even sure I took 2 minutes. I started up again and it felt so much easier in the second set which is always a good thing.

7:29, 7:35, 7:33, 7:31 - 7:32 avg

7:11, 7:18, 7:22, 7:07 - 7:14 avg

Supremely happy the result of the workout. It was enough to get myself use to more aerobic threshold running but not too hard so I will recover quickly enough from it.

This is exactly the workout and result I needed to stay excited and motivated in the weeks to come. Need to recover from this effort so I can put in another workout on Friday.