Well Operation - Get my Swagger Back is well underway!
I am not quick sure where to start with this since I am out of the habit of writing and this all seems like a long time in the making.
I think it goes back to when I started coaching and than stop coaching and than started coaching again but than you have to factor into the 2 year battle with Hashimotos. In all this I lost my swagger, my confidence, my sassy self that liked being a competitor and show up to races and events full of herself. I slowly starting tucking her away as I a runner till I no longer resembled the feisty, firey, sassy, mischievous and very confident runner that I was 5-6 years ago.
Why did I slow let her go away? Many factors I am sure but icing on the cake was the confidence that got totally derailed and thrashed from the Hashimotos. The up and downs of never knowing when I was going to be healthy to race that I just started to play it safe. Run races and put out efforts that were safe. Always of afraid of the big bad wolf - Hashimotos. Afraid of the DNFs and to be honest others criticism or judgement of my downward spiral that would ensure after Hashimotos started.
Well no more! I am healthy and I have fought super hard to be here. I no longer want to play it safe. I want to race, I want to fight hard, I want to be me more fully when I race. I want to stand up, show up and not giving a flying fick about other peoples opinions or observations of my running performances.
In doing so I have find my Swagger that I lost a bit of - well to be honest a lot of.
I need to shine again! I need own my light and not be fearful that my light will cause others to feel uncomfortable in my presence.
I feel excited and hopeful as I work to find that fiesty girl that I once shared space with.