Charlevoix the Beautful!

So it was my slowest ever race but my hardest one physically and mentally.

What was positive is that...

I ran a my hardest effort ever in a marathon!

What I tell my athletes is that the body only knows effort and not pace. 

When my thyroid is off particularity when I am hyperthyroid - my body is working so much harder because more thyroid hormone is floating in the blood stream. You would think like that would be a good thing. In fact, it is not at all. For 2 reasons, the increased thyroid hormone is elevating my heart rate which makes the running a 10 minute mile feel like 7 a minute mile effort. Essentially, I have to run a 10 minute mile which for my body feels like a 7 minute mile. Secondly, the extra thyroid hormone raises  my normal body temperature from 98.6 to 98.8+ which may not seem like much but the slight .1 percents are significant to the body. I feel hotter and the body has to work harder to cool itself. 

So even though the pace is not reflective of the effort I ran my body certainly felt the effort. I feel like I got hit by a bus the day after so I know the effort was there!

I stayed positive through the race! Yes, I had a moment or two in my head where I had a pity party  and a couple tears rolled but I quickly worked to look for the good, I smiled lots, I cheered fellow runners (out and back course) and I helped other runners that were struggling. My motto is that if it is not going to be my day I am going to help another in anyway I can to hopefully help it be their day. Getting out your own head is really important in moments like this.

In the 2 other circumstances that I toed the line of a marathon in this type of condition, they both ended in DNF's between mile 17-19.  I was definitely in a whole lots of hurt at miles 17 to 19 and so badly wanted to walk off the course but I had promised my daughter I would finish this thing so I started looking for ways to get it done. Lots prayer and  than 2 angels (runners) start talking to me around mile 17 when I wanted to quit. 

They were college girls running their first marathon.  I started running with them and they by my side I was able to keep going. After some conversation, I found out they go Western Michigan and that was my alma mater. We talked about the campus and what was still there after uhmh 19 years :-) This conversation was so needed as we were all struggling a bit and around 20 miles they wanted to start taking walk breaks. I was not about to leave them and had no desire to run this thing in alone after they saved me during my hardest miles. So I stuck by their side when they were hitting the wall. I coaxed them to keep going, keep moving, I gave them my gels, made sure they were getting plenty of fluids at the aid stations,  encourage them, broke the last 6 miles into segments so they could manage them mentally, distracted them with chatting about life, we took walk breaks, we danced under sprinkles, screamed loudly we've got this and we finished the race side by side with our arms raised. 

Not all races will you be given the best conditions, the best state of health but you can show up and be your best self!

I am proud to say that my best self showed up to run my hardest effort.

I pulled from my deepest resources to finish this race.

And for that I couldn't be more proud of myself and able to share this "never give up" journey with my children. 

Life is always unfolding perfectly even in our most challenging moments ~ 

Thank You God

Thank you God for giving me something that would challenge me to become a better version of myself, to force me to see myself as incomparable, to see my journey in a different light, to know that my timetable is unlike anyone else's, to find that voice in myself that says I LOVE ME, I AM PROUD OF ME, I AM WONDERFUL and I do not need others to validate what I know deep in my soul. That I do not need the world to approve of my journey or the whens or the hows or the whos. That I am the creator of my dream, that I am decider of my thoughts and actions, that I am the master of my fate.

Thank you God for giving me a talent and passion that would endure hardship, hurt, disappointment and heart ache. For this passion and mixed with my strong inner voice is always guiding me, leading me, coercing me to move past the struggle into the light.

Thank you God for always meeting me on my path with a light that comes with encouragement to keep going and keep seeking.

Thank you God for bringing very special people onto my path to journey with me, some have stayed with me for longer and some have helped me navigate different parts of my journey and than have moved on and some are brief encounters but nonetheless impactful.

Thank you God for the sights and places I have got to experience along the way.

Thank you God for this journey in becoming more me.

Week in Review : Spring and Building Mileage

As I put in week after week of work, I become more satisfied with my decision to take 6 months off of racing and just train. The consistency of 6 months of mileage should help get me really strong for my summer marathon and than early fall marathons and November 50 miler I have planned.

It is strange not to have a race on the calendar for so long, I have not traditionally have taken this much time to build fitness. I usually go from 12 weeks of training to marathon and than repeat usually only having 5 to 10 weeks of training between. I wanted to take a different approach this training cycle. After this past 12 weeks, I will move onto another 12 weeks of marathon training where I will work on building mileage higher and long runs longer.

Going this route really takes patience. I am a girl of adventure and always looking forward to my next exciting adventure. So taking the time just to work without the imminent goal race on the horizon is stretching me a bit and makes me a bit antsy.There is not much exciting or glamorous to tell about just putting in mile after mile, day in and day out. But it is also so freeing just to enjoy the process and not be getting wrapped up in thinking "Am I fit yet" or "Am I there yet". Just enjoying each run without needing to be wrapped up in how my fitness is progressing is so so so nice. It makes my soul peaceful. 

For the most part, I am loving and finding lots of peace in the miles. Looking to build the miles even more in April and May before backing off in June. The extended day light of spring will set me up will with getting in the seconds runs of the day. 

Here is how this past week looked - 

Monday 7 easy 

Tuesday AM - 12 with 4 x 1.5 mile repeats @ 6;18 to 6:25 pace with 90 sec rest PM - 3.2 Recovery miles

Wednesday 10 miles easy

Thursday 11.50 miles easy

Friday AM - 10 miles with 5 @7:16 pace PM 3.5 Recovery miles

Saturday 7 miles easy

Sunday 8 miles easy 

Miles - 73 miles 

Doing the work every day and loving it...

I was just reflecting on my choice to take 6 months to just run with no races and no goals. Just training...

My goal and what was in my heart to do was to spend 6 months not getting distracted from race goals but just to put in consistent week after consistent week of higher mileage and quality training.

Looking back on my last 11 weeks I am pretty proud that I have keep on track with my goals and plans. I have put in 11 weeks of consistent running with a couple days off sprinkled here and there averaging 67.7 miles a week. I am pretty pleased!

Especially given that I am listening to the voice of my own guidance and knowing that is the way to where I want to be. I am so pleased that I shut out the voices of other peoples opinion and thoughts and listen to my own knowing.

It is feels like when you get lost and you shut out the noise of everything and intuitively know which way to go even though the GPS says one thing or your driving partner says one thing but you know which to go and it feels good to make that turn.

That is how this path feels to me!

I know it is the path I am suppose to be on. I am happy!

I am truly just enjoying where I am even with a few bumps in the road in the last couple of weeks I feel I am over those bumps and on my way to even higher mileage.

Over the past few weeks, I have learned some things that can only help me as I continue to move forward. One of thing I learned is that I have been running on extremely low blood sugar (blood glucose) levels and I need continuously work on getting in more carbohydrates daily if I want to be able to maintain high mileage. This is my key area of improvement that I will be focusing in the coming months and of course enjoying this time of "sowing".

For one day, it be harvest time for all the sowing I am doing now :-)

Small Steps

Okay I keep promising myself I will get back to writing daily as it really helped me stay focused on my goals and work through things that have been going on in my head and training.

So today even if it is a little post I am honoring a promise I made to myself to continue to document my journey and get back using my blog as a sounding board.

For the past 9 weeks, I have been diligently logging my miles mixed in with some super solid work outs. My mileage is not as high as I hoped but given the Topsy turvey February with sick kids, snow/weather days and a Itband/Knee that cropped after a hilly run. I will take it and celebrate it!! 9 weeks running consistently with no break and just building mileage and workouts on top of each other.

I am pleased that I have manage to run consistently over the last 9 weeks averaging 65 miles per week. If I had my way that number would have been more in the 70s but I think the universe has a way of saying I know better so I am going to trust that where I am at right now is good.

Generally, I have felt really healthy thyroid wise. In the last week or so, I have had a hyper surge so my last 2 workouts why they were super efforts were a bit slower but mostly it is not affecting me other my body temp running high. When some feels my forehead or face they say I feel like I have a fever and I have been very warm in general.

In January after some blood work I had done, I found out my blood glucose levels were super low which is called reactive hypoglycemia. It is really is my own fault for not taking in enough carbohydrates to support my training. This is something I have been diligently working these past few weeks. I hoping the my increase efforts to get in more carbs will not only help me train better but eventually race better. Racing on low blood glucose levels really sucks!

I know that one day my patience and persistence it will pay off and it will all be worth it.

I was listening to an Interview with Pitbull and he said something that has stuck with every since I heard it. It is a Cuba saying.

Small Steps. Long Vision

I have remember that every day!

Here was my small steps from last week.

Monday 7.5 easy
Tuesday 10 total - 3 x 1 mile @6;55, 4x400 @ 6:27, @ 4 x 1 minute @ 6;00 flat
Wednesday 8.5 easy
Thursday OFF - Kids home Snow Day
Friday 16 miles - 2 x 6 miles @ 7:16 & 7:14
Saturday 7.5 miles AM 3 miles PM
Sunday 10.5 miles

Total - 63

Operation - Get my Swagger Back

Well Operation - Get my Swagger Back is well underway!

I am not quick sure where to start with this since I am out of the habit of writing and this all seems like a long time in the making.

I think it goes back to when I started coaching and than stop coaching and than started coaching again but than you have to factor into the 2 year battle with Hashimotos. In all this I lost my swagger, my confidence, my sassy self that liked being a competitor and show up to races and events full of herself. I slowly starting tucking her away as I a runner till I no longer resembled the feisty, firey, sassy, mischievous and very confident runner that I was 5-6 years ago.

Why did I slow let her go away? Many factors I am sure but icing on the cake was the confidence that got totally derailed and thrashed from the Hashimotos. The up and downs of never knowing when I was going to be healthy to race that I just started to play it safe. Run races and put out efforts that were safe. Always of afraid of the big bad wolf - Hashimotos. Afraid of the DNFs and to be honest others criticism or judgement of my downward spiral that would ensure after Hashimotos started.

Well no more! I am healthy and I have fought super hard to be here. I no longer want to play it safe. I want to race, I want to fight hard, I want to be me more fully when I race. I want to stand up, show up and not giving a flying fick about other peoples opinions or observations of my running performances.

In doing so I have find my Swagger that I lost a bit of - well to be honest a lot of.

I need to shine again! I need own my light and not be fearful that my light will cause others to feel uncomfortable in my presence.

I feel excited and hopeful as I work to find that fiesty girl that I once shared space with.