Just when I needed it.....

How quickly the tide can turn from hour to hour, day to day, month to month. I must remember this in the future. Last week, I was crying about my hair falling out and this week I was crying because I was so happy that I had a big breakthrough in a workout.

I had to keep my chin up and try ever mental positive trick I had up my sleeve to keep my spirits up after last week. I would read everything I could, listen to every happy song, read all happy quotes, talk about only happy things but there was this low level sadness that I had a hard time shaking off.

Although each day I was determine to put my best foot forward even if they were a bit sad feet - they were moving feet so I took pride in them all the same. They were determined feet to find their way.

Well on Tuesday, I had a workout that I had never really done before and I had no idea what to expect. It was basically 10X90 hard/90 seconds easy. After warming & a few slower strides, I had no idea what I had in the legs asmy strides were less pepping as they usually are. I was super surprised when I hit 5:54 for the first rep and than 6:00 for second rep. What was to come was even more surprising and awesome. The thing about workouts like this is you have no time to think but just do. They hurt to the point where if you think about it all - you surely do not want to do another. During the recovery jog, I tried not to think at all cause when I would hit my watch to go again if I had any hesitation than it would screw with my ability to relax.

My splits for this workout went like this - Can I say I have never, ever ran this fast before!!!!
5:54, 6:00, 5:54, 5:57, 5:48, 5:54, 5:52, 5:46, 5:45, 5:50

After the workout and in my cool down, I started tearing up a bit. Mostly for being grateful to see a breakthrough like this after all the ups & downs of this past year. When my hope was being challenged with Dr appts and Hair loss and lab reports... It was a moment when I knew what I have been working for is going to workout both in running and in my life. Everything is going to be amazing! Well it is already is pretty darn amazing and I am thankful for all the amazing things that Hashimotos and Thyroid Disease has brought into my life - My close friend Kat, My awesome coach, and all of the life lessons only it could teach me. I will keep fighting to get optimal and hopefully help others with this disease fight their way out of it. 

Being Real

Sometimes you have to be real. I have been fighting a bit of the blues these past few days. No real reason for them but a sort of low level not so awesomeness feeling that I can't quite shake. I think what prompted was a lots of hair loss :-( from my body adjusting to the hormones. I have been noticing it fall out everywhere and I am afraid to brush my hair. I have read that it is a normal side-effect that as my body adjusts it will stop breaking and falling out so I keep reminding myself of that so I do not dwell on it. But as I forgot about it, I get remind by that long strands that lay on my arms/body as the hairs fall out.

I keep trying to focus on how strong I feel lately. I am feeling great on runs in general, sleeping great at night, my weight seems to be good (no more exploded weight gains), I feel overall more energetic and relaxed. So I know progress has to be happening even at a cellular level.

Even if the hair continues to fall out, I will be okay. It will grow back! I keep reminding myself of that. I am not my hair or my body. Trying to hold back tears, I will okay.

Home From Denver and Building Back Routine

I feel the need to update my blog but not much exciting to return although I returned to regular running even though a much lower volume. I am running and feeling good overall. I feel like I have recovered well from Grandmas. I feel bless to recovery so quickly from marathons.

I also went to Denver for a week to visit friends with my kids so that keep me mellow and  not thinking about training or running. Yes, I did run a few times but all in the 3-4 mile range and easy. This week is a good the gets me into regular running routine again. I love the routine nature of training and it helps me to be organized and focused. When I am in down period, I tend to feel scattered and unfocus which for me is unsettling. But alas, the return to routine is back!! Yippee!!

I promised myself at the beginning of the summer or rather May when summer kicks into high gear that there would be NO WHINING about it this summer. I was going to stay focused and happy regardless of the outside conditions. I have done a pretty good job of that and when it is too hot out, I have just happily taken to the treadmill. I have picked up a few strategies to keep me from dwelling on the heat. Like I got out as little as possible in it so it does not remind me of the heat. I keep my bedroom very cool so I am always "geez, it is cold" and I take ice packs with me to the gym when I run on the treadmill to keep my core temp down.

So half though summer, I get 5 stars for the efforts made to stay happy and positive training this summer. Yay - ME!!!!

Goal for rest of the summer is as follows -

Pill Popping

This morning I was reaching for my newest dose of the Armour Thyroid meds and I was like OMG! I sure have a ton of bottles in this cabinet. All them varying doses of varying thyroid meds. This is a trial and error process of finding out what works best for my body.

I have been on my current dose of Armour for a whopping 8 days and I feel pretty decent. None of the side effects that I had the first time around on it which I suspect is because of healing the Adrenal glands and supplementing with Vit B12. We'll see, only time will tell. I will stay on it for another 12 days and than I go back for bloodwork to see if anything has changed in my blood profile. I am optimistic that all the answers  while be forthcoming. With no hard training looming, there is not the sense of urgency that I had felt before so I feel like we have a little wiggle room to get things right this time around.

This week while searching for a blank piece of paper so I could use the printer, I can across this Lab Bloodwork results dated 5 yrs ago. I scanned it and it looked like bloodwork from annual exam with also a cholesterol screening. At the very bottom of the lab work there was a TSH result - It was flagged reading I was out of range. For anyone that knows the ranges and their meanings, it listed 4.83. WOW! Classic Hypothyroid. I was flabbergasted that I have had this for 5+ years and did not know. I actually find this encouraging in a weird way. I feel like wow I have run 16 marathons with a malfunctioning thyroid. What can I do when we can get it optimal and all the hormones are in balance.

Traveling Plans

At the beginning of the year, I had a goal of traveling more. Not just for races but to see family and friends across the country. This year is turning out to be exactly as I hoped. It is exciting to plan my adventures on the horizon but also to savor the memories created.

We started the year of with a cruise and follow it up with a family trip to Boston, a June marathon trip with a friend to Duluth, tomorrow I depart for Denver, CO with my children to visit friends, than at the end of August a trip to California to race a half marathon and visit with my sister while traveling to coastal cities like Carmel, Monterrey, San Francisco and rounding out the trip in Wine Country.  In September, I am making a trip to Detroit to run and spend time with Dad, Mom and my other sister and her family. I am still up in the air on Chicago in October as I am registered for the marathon. It is not my goal race of the year but there is a part of me that wants to experience the race and take my kids to place like the American Girl Store and Wrigley Field. If I decided to run it than it would 100% as training run but we have to see how I recover and see if we can get my health optimal before we add that into the training schedule but it fits with my goals of travel for the year. My kids have never been to Chicago!

My children absolutely to love to travel especially Christian! It is in their blood and they are very good travelers. They look forward to the adventures as much as I do. Where will life take us next?

Oh Teddy you were so wise! Must Dare Greatly...

So I called my bestie and literally talked in circles to her today! It is so nice to have a friend in life that will listen to you reason your way through your stuff. We all have stuff and we all need to work through it but to have a friend to really listen to it and not hurry the process of you processing the stuff out loud! Ah that is a gift to really celebrate. 

I think I have a little of the post marathon blues going on. Going from the sweet high and than nothing and trying to grasp back to that high. Trying to relax into the moment and enjoy the recovery time. Yet not really having an idea of what is next. No clear picture is forming in my head and that makes me feel unsettled. 

I went yoga and relaxed my striving and determined mind. I feel more relaxed than in a couple of days. You know I really think if i look back on how I felt post marathons in the past 2 years this is a recurrent theme. Always having a tough time with the transition from marathon training & completion of the marathon to the what is next part? 

I am eager for the What is next part? I am eager to start running again and moving towards my next goal. I keep reminding myself that this rest is just as important as my next goal. That if I can truly give myself over to rest & recovery. I will be in a better position come the Fall. 

I decided that I will DARE GREATLY! I will continue believe that my dream in possible and I will Dare Greatly in the pursuit of it. 

For now I will continue my easy and short runs...