The Recovery Week Blahs

What is it with recovery weeks that gets me out of sorts. I seem to roll into knowing that it is what I need and totally embrace the week gung-ho style. By the end of the week - I feel nutty and out of sorts. I start the week full of "I so need this" & "all this laying around is so awesome" or "look I am sleeping in". I totally embraced the laziness of this week. Alas by the end of week, I felt like okay did that resting thing and ready to move on but with no where to move on to but more resting and relaxing.

I also got news that my labs that I thought would indicate how awesome I am doing and in fact did not say that all and indicate I need to address a few things yet and that I will need some type of hormone med after all. It is sort took the wind out of my sail a bit. I have been struggling with that all week. Really with my whole heart I thought I could do get my body well and healed without hormone meds.   If I ignored the labs than I could be looking at a worse problem down the road even with this honeymoon period of feeling good. I am told that the thyroid needs some support or it may really shut down on me one day. What kind of support is yet to be determined and is a source of uncertainty.  I have to do a 24 hr Saliva Test tomorrow that will tell us what my Adrenals are doing and if they affecting my thyroid function. Than go from there...lots of questions in my head and I just have to remain in faith that all the answers will come exactly when they need to but until than I will remain focused on my goal.

Even though I did a little fear in this week and had a good cry or two just out of frustration with this thing.

Honestly I sometimes wonder if this road is ever going to stop testing me. Yes parts of me just wants this all to be easier. Like set a goal, do the work, chase it with your whole heart and it is yours. Not set a goal, dance with it a bit, make you nutty, make you cry, make you pick up chin over and over again and say I will keep trying no matter what. I guess the truly great things do not come the easy way. No more "Woe is me" .....I have to turn it all into "Wow is me".

Loved This! Girl Power..........Love all my sisters!

Sooner or later, all women learn that life is not a fairytale, and stop waiting for Prince Charming to come. They slip on their own shoes and set out to find themselves and a life that is worth living. Secure in knowing that whether they walk the journey alone, or with a partner at their side, they Will in time find a happy ever after. ~ Sandra Kring

Whats Next?

Okay 2 days post marathon and I am getting antsy. I know I am suppose to be resting and taking it easy and I am. I floated in and out of bed all day on Monday. When my husband arrived home from work, he asked my son where is your mom? He said back in bed, she has been in pajamas all day. Ah! lazy days of summer and where do I pick up my mom of the year award for that day. AH! To my defense my daughter was at a play date and my son had a friend over so I steeled away to the comfort of my bed lots all in the name of recovery.

Anyway after my day of rest, I woke up today antsy but took it easy again. But I did a much better job in the mommy department. We made it to Chuckie Cheese, the pool, McAlisters and TCBY. By the evening tonight though, I am pondering okay those recovery days were nice but I want to run and train again. I am super excited for what the future holds. But alas, I will continue to rest and take it easy this week.

While at the pool, I listen to friends plan their runs for the week.  I am both happy I won't be waking early also disheveled about not having a running groove for a while to return to. I know this is for the best and will keep to the recovery. So I will just keep to the yoga & pondering..what is next?

I am thinking about training for a half in the fall and practice racing with some shorter distances. Than working on the marathon for mid-December. All this means giving up Chicago. I am not 100% ready to do that yet but it is what I am leaning towards. Who knows...

But I will pondering that big question all week..what is next?

Getting Back Up

Ge

For me this race signified a return to health. I knew going it was just going to be a stepping stone and that ultimately that I wanted it to be fun. It was my comeback race!

I got exactly what I signed up for within the first mile somehow I managed to amass a random group of marathon misfits that we would go onto tease, joke, amuse and inspire each other for the next 18 miles. I even manage to recite "oh the places you will go" to the group at mile 13. The group was formed somewhere between mile 1-2. We had 6 in our group initially and people would gravitate in and out of our group as miles clicked by. We bantered on with each other, with surrounding runners and with the cheering crowds. I realized by mile 16 that was doing too much talking & goofing off and not enough focusing. I knew the real work was coming soon so I told the group I was done with the chit chat and needed to put head phones in. We sort of keep sync with each other for the next couple of miles but a couple people moved on ahead and few dropped off the back. By mile 20, I knew I was on my own. I had kept the pace pretty good but the hills in the miles 20-23 sort of slowed me a bit and I was losing 5-10 secs mile and my chest had been feeling restricted in the last half the marathon and the restricted feeling increased in the last few miles. My energy was still high and I had no muscle fatigue but was struggled to get in enough air. Even though we had perfect temps and misty overcast skies, the humidity was high which always aggravates my chest. So I worked to stay calm and keep the legs moving in the last 6 miles. I was super happy as the goal was 3:30-3:32.

My splits
1 - 8:00
2 - 8:00
3 - 7:58
4 - 7:56
5 - 7:55
6  - 8:01
7 - 8:01
8 - 8:03
9 - 8:01
10 - 7:47
11 - 8:04
12 - 7:53
13 - 7:57
14 - 7:59
15 - 8:00
16 - 7:58
17 - 7:59
18 - 8:04
19 - 7:54
20 - 8:07
21 - 8:07
22 - 8:06
23 - 8:17
24 - 8:11
25 - 8:15
26 - 8:07
.5 - 7:30

End time 3:32:46

After looking at my splits, I totally see how I let the fun and games in the early miles let me get a little fast that cost me a minute on the back half. But than again I would never trade those moments of fun for minutes.

This race was exactly what it needed to be. A race to renew my hopes and a day to celebrate overcoming! I shared these memories with my dear friend and my coach which made the day all the more special.

I am coming back! By the fall, I hope to have my health optimal and be ready to bust out a PR!

There is power in the get back UP!

Leap before you look!

You know something that is told to us somewhere as children and we carry through life is Look before you Leap. But what if that is totally the wrong way to go about things? With caution and hesitation? What if we just suppose to leap before we look? And trust that life will catch us? Trust that it will all work out along the way? That we do not have to have the answers before we start. That we do not have to all of stars aligned perfectly. That we do not have to know the hows and whos of it but just trust that those things will come to us at the very point we will need them.

I thought about this as I made way to the track this weekend. Up early, driving to the track not knowing if it will be locked or a team using it. I just went knowing that it would work itself out in any matter. I walked up to the track at 6:30AM, the sun was just rising  and no one was there but sure enough all the gates were locked. I walk around to the back of the track where you can climb the fence and jump in. Low and behold there was a chair next to the fence to ease my way into the track. Ah! Trust that these things always work out.

Another thing that got me really thinking about Leaping before you look was this journey to Grandmas. When I agreed to run Grandmas, I was still deep in thyroid yuck and was not even sure that I would get back to training. I was physically the heaviest I had been since giving birth to my youngest and I was physically not in the best shape and mentally I was up and down trying to get a rein on all my emotions post-Boston. But I lept and life has been working itself on the way.

Now I am here the happiest and healthiest, I have been in a long time. So mystified about this phenomenon that you do not have to look before you leap. You can just leap!!! I have no idea what will happen in Duluth and that is part of life. Leaping into uncertainty. I am going to Leap and trust that life knows the best way.

Leap away people! 

My love affair with the Fartlek

I got to scream I LOVE fartleks!!!  Today I had 8 miles with 10X1 minute hard with 1 minute easy recovery. Can I just stay I love this work! I never did type of stuff until my new coach who goes heavy in the fartlek department.

My legs are definitely ready to run fast given the chance. This AM temp and low humidity made the run all the more pleasant. I was anxious to get out early to enjoy the morning 64 degrees!! Woo Hoo Felt like so amazing!! Can not believe how dropping out of the 100% humidity and 70 dew point range makes HUGE difference. I ran those minuters effortless at 6:28, 6:22, 6:25, 6:10, 6:00, 6:09, 5;54, 5:58, 6:01. I didn't even feel like I was running fast and totally could have and wanted to do like 10 more of these reps but alas the point is just to keep the legs fresh and nothing to be gained  by extending the workout. So I had to stop! I was super shocked at the sub 6 minute efforts cause I wasn't pressing hard. I was just letting my legs go...

I am super pleased. I am praying that the fitness that I know is there can shine through in Grandmas. My coach and I have not discussed goals at all. Main goal when we started training 6-8 weeks ago was to get healthy and have a solid training cycle being healthy. No eye on times. He has not eluded to anything and I am super hesitate to ask. I feel like I am just better off not setting my sites on any specific time but just letting it come to me sort of like what has been going on these past weeks training. My coach currently does not give paces to hit for workouts but rather effort levels which at first was totally hard to comprehend and go with but now after doing it his way I can see the value it. Like today if time goal was set than I may have watched my garmin rather run on feel which would limit me.

To wrap up, it was a really great run this AM. Couldn't be happier!

True Story! Thryoid Meds make Nutty!

So after 10 days on the low dose of synthroid, I felt like my heart was racing. I felt like I had to struggle for air and my breathing was not as relaxed and control. Which is not what I want for the marathon. So I took myself off of Synthroid - 3rd time to try and 3rd to stop. What is a girl going to do? I have no idea but I was running pretty decent in the weeks before the I jump back on the hormone replacement so I am going to take my chances a la no DRUGS. We'll see :-) We'll be seeing how that goes.

After Grandmas, I will take a couple weeks off from running and a slow build back which should help monitor thyroid and rule out Adrenal Fatigue.

I totally think it will be fine in fact better than fine. The break will coincide with summer and kids being home. Hey! If I had to take downtime, I totally do not mind taking it in the summer months when running is difficult.

Well that is plan for now and I am sticking to it!

I am so looking forward to Duluth and feeling excited and hopeful. Most of the work is done. I have a long run of sorts tomorrow. 8 miles with 10X1 hard in the middle of run. I love these types of runs. It is really to help kept the legs moving.

Have to the keep the faith this week and not let myself think rather OVERTHINK my fitness and thryoid. It is what it is......

Last Long Run

So today was my last long run before Grandmas, it was 16 with last 6 @MP. I was looking forward to it as I love these type of runs. It had to be done on treadmill because of swampiness of the south!!! Humidity in the grossness and I can not breathe range. No worries though - 16 miles on treadmill no problem for a girl with good tunes and a good attitude.

But wait - I sort of felt like shit running! Yuck! Yeah I felt cruddy and I had to fight the "oh no this can not be happening"!!!! 10 days out my thyroid wants to act up! Well I spent a good few miles fighting the negative chit-chat my head wanted to have with itself. I distracted myself with trying to talk to neighboring treadmillers which helped a lot. I knew I was going to have gut this run out no matter what so I got to work on the dialogue my head was trying to have with itself. I fought back with every mental resource I have. By mile 9-10, I was mentally prepared to fight for those that few miles. I reminded myself that the marathon is not going to be easy no matter how fit or what my thyroid was doing on that! Plus I wanted to prove to myself that I could run hard when I was uncomfortable and not feeling good. It was going to cruddy no matter if I ran at 8 mm pace or 7:30 pace. Mine as well get it over quickly! I ran a controlled, progressive effort feeling the yucky but being able to relax into it and not let yuckiness consume me. I just took my mind somewhere else. When I hit the MPs I was given permission ahead time by coach to run MP and than last 3 could be faster. I kept treadmill at 7:53 for first 3 miles and than started working my way down to 7:47, 7:41 and finally 7:28. I was not feeling great at all in those final 2 miles but reminded myself this is the fight I am going to muster in the final 6 miles so I mine as well practice the fight. I relaxed and ran strong. Even thought I felt sort of yucky, I did feel like I could go on and on in this yucky state. So there is that....

Post-run, I was super pleased. No - I did not want to feel that awlful yucky feeling but I proved to myself I could handle it and run through it if I had to and reminded myself that marathon pace is not easy no matter how slice it. Enough my confidence raising with some speedy workouts, I know MP is tough. This run ended up being exactly what it needed to be to get my head in the game.

I think I rather go in knowing I was going to have fight it out rather than going in with I am so fit and this is so easy attitude and than get a rude awakening when I had to start fighting. NO marathoner wants to face that battle in the last 6-8 miles when you can't think clear thoughts anyways.

I can only hope today was a freak day and things will continue to kept clicking for me. Someday it is all going to make sense, until than I will keep smiling and enjoying the process.

Keep on Running

I got a call from Dr yesterday with some great news on my labs. Things have taken a turn for the better. My TSH is coming down rather lowering and my thyroid antibodies which is the marker for autoimmune disorder has normalized. So basically with a Gluten Free Diet and some other nutritional adjustments my body is healing. Yippee! The TSH is still slightly high but a very low dose of hormone should help get me normalized & optimal. Labs did reveal another issue low B12 levels which can be addressed with supplements. WOW!!

I feel really happy about this news. It is exciting to see that 6 months gluten free does make a HUGE difference. I mean HUGE!!!

Where I go from is only up! I have been running well. Run after run I am feeling more confident and like myself running. I am always pleasantly surprised when I feel good running which is basically every run since like I started training for Grandmas like 5 weeks ago. Consistently feeling good and making improvements. Who knows what is in store for me in just a couple of weeks!

Who know but I will keep on running!!!! Cause I love it!!

Smile - It is part of your jounrey

You know there is sign in front of my favorite treadmill at the Y where it reads SMILE. It is actually an ad for a dentist on a magazine rack but in bold letters all you can see from the treadmill is Smile. I love this treadmill for this purpose. It helps me remember this is fun and I love this stuff even when I am grinding miles in the summer on the treadmill. I am doing what I love and that is something to SMILE about. I am so fortunate to know what is I am after and have the time and resources to get after it.

Even when there are bumps in the road, I need to remember my smile as it is part of my journey. You can not have the good without the bad. That is life! It is the contrast that makes everything so sweet and savory.

I accept all the bumps as part of my journey and know that life is always working out for me. I trust Life! I smile at everything and love every bit of my journey.

Get up do what you LOVE

I have a workout today that I am both looking forward but also a bit unsure/unsettled about it. It is very humid here so I will taking it to the treadmill. I am thinking I will do warm-up and cool-down outside but the workout will be on the treadmill. I want to be able breathe and feel confident both of which the treadmill will allow for better than heat & humidity.

I have to say how much I love running FAST! Especially when I can and no health issues. Nothing feels better than opening up the legs, feeling fast, feeling smooth and relaxed. This is my hope for the day. 5X5 minutes @ hard effort with 2 minute jog/walk recovery. I had 4X5 minutes last week which went well @ 6:29, 6:28, 6:29, 6:22 on the track so I am hoping to better those times on the treadmill.

Mantra for today is stay relaxed and calm! Keep the mind relaxed as possible.

Can you say Taper again....

20 Days to Grandmas :-) Yes I am counting down and really looking forward to this marathon. I feel this quiet confidence building and excitement to run a marathon when I am healthy. Am I healthy? Who knows for sure but I am feeling the best I have felt in a long, long, long time. So I guess I will go with I AM HEALTHY!!!

I ran my 20 miler on Friday and it was the strongest and fastest long run in quiet some time. I never felt tired and felt really positive the entire way through.

This biggest growing point is I have learned to let go  more and trust more. Not being not so concerned about paces but just get out & do the work I love day after day. Run more with people that make me happy and throw pace out the window and just enjoy. Concentrate first on doing what I love and let itself work itself out. Let the love that I have for running be first and foremost.