So today was my last long run before Grandmas, it was 16 with last 6 @MP. I was looking forward to it as I love these type of runs. It had to be done on treadmill because of swampiness of the south!!! Humidity in the grossness and I can not breathe range. No worries though - 16 miles on treadmill no problem for a girl with good tunes and a good attitude.
But wait - I sort of felt like shit running! Yuck! Yeah I felt cruddy and I had to fight the "oh no this can not be happening"!!!! 10 days out my thyroid wants to act up! Well I spent a good few miles fighting the negative chit-chat my head wanted to have with itself. I distracted myself with trying to talk to neighboring treadmillers which helped a lot. I knew I was going to have gut this run out no matter what so I got to work on the dialogue my head was trying to have with itself. I fought back with every mental resource I have. By mile 9-10, I was mentally prepared to fight for those that few miles. I reminded myself that the marathon is not going to be easy no matter how fit or what my thyroid was doing on that! Plus I wanted to prove to myself that I could run hard when I was uncomfortable and not feeling good. It was going to cruddy no matter if I ran at 8 mm pace or 7:30 pace. Mine as well get it over quickly! I ran a controlled, progressive effort feeling the yucky but being able to relax into it and not let yuckiness consume me. I just took my mind somewhere else. When I hit the MPs I was given permission ahead time by coach to run MP and than last 3 could be faster. I kept treadmill at 7:53 for first 3 miles and than started working my way down to 7:47, 7:41 and finally 7:28. I was not feeling great at all in those final 2 miles but reminded myself this is the fight I am going to muster in the final 6 miles so I mine as well practice the fight. I relaxed and ran strong. Even thought I felt sort of yucky, I did feel like I could go on and on in this yucky state. So there is that....
Post-run, I was super pleased. No - I did not want to feel that awlful yucky feeling but I proved to myself I could handle it and run through it if I had to and reminded myself that marathon pace is not easy no matter how slice it. Enough my confidence raising with some speedy workouts, I know MP is tough. This run ended up being exactly what it needed to be to get my head in the game.
I think I rather go in knowing I was going to have fight it out rather than going in with I am so fit and this is so easy attitude and than get a rude awakening when I had to start fighting. NO marathoner wants to face that battle in the last 6-8 miles when you can't think clear thoughts anyways.
I can only hope today was a freak day and things will continue to kept clicking for me. Someday it is all going to make sense, until than I will keep smiling and enjoying the process.