Saturday, June 29, 2013

The Recovery Week Blahs

Don't allow bumps in the road stop you from reaching your destination.

What is it with recovery weeks that gets me out of sorts. I seem to roll into knowing that it is what I need and totally embrace the week gung-ho style. By the end of the week - I feel nutty and out of sorts. I start the week full of "I so need this" & "all this laying around is so awesome" or "look I am sleeping in". I totally embraced the laziness of this week. Alas by the end of week, I felt like okay did that resting thing and ready to move on but with no where to move on to but more resting and relaxing.

I also got news that my labs that I thought would indicate how awesome I am doing and in fact did not say that all and indicate I need to address a few things yet and that I will need some type of hormone med after all. It is sort took the wind out of my sail a bit. I have been struggling with that all week. Really with my whole heart I thought I could do get my body well and healed without hormone meds.   If I ignored the labs than I could be looking at a worse problem down the road even with this honeymoon period of feeling good. I am told that the thyroid needs some support or it may really shut down on me one day. What kind of support is yet to be determined and is a source of uncertainty.  I have to do a 24 hr Saliva Test tomorrow that will tell us what my Adrenals are doing and if they affecting my thyroid function. Than go from there...lots of questions in my head and I just have to remain in faith that all the answers will come exactly when they need to but until than I will remain focused on my goal.

Even though I did a little fear in this week and had a good cry or two just out of frustration with this thing.

Honestly I sometimes wonder if this road is ever going to stop testing me. Yes parts of me just wants this all to be easier. Like set a goal, do the work, chase it with your whole heart and it is yours. Not set a goal, dance with it a bit, make you nutty, make you cry, make you pick up chin over and over again and say I will keep trying no matter what. I guess the truly great things do not come the easy way. No more "Woe is me" .....I have to turn it all into "Wow is me".

Earl Nightingale

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