I am committed to writing in here everyday whilst I get my head on straight. I realized how much this blog is like therapy for me. Like getting the thoughts out somehow helps me focus and redefine my direction. Even if no one reads this anymore cause of my lack of writing that is cool, these words are more for me anyways.
WOW! How one day can rock your world!! I will really thought I was humming along well and than Monday put me into a panic mode and I wrote yesterday about how I felt like I was settling back down after my panic attack. Honestly I am still wondering - How did I let so much fear in?? How did I not realize the floodgates of fear had been opened and let is overwhelm me. Normally yes I can have "fear" moment but I have been so good at shoving it back where it belongs. I didn't do that this week - I feed the fears! I feed one fearful thought with another and bamb by Tuesday I was nutty as heck!
I am happy now to be aware of this and moving past it. I am feeling the fear and moving forward with my goal to run well at Grandmas!! I am going to trust that I am suppose to be there doing awesome stuff on that race course. I will keep this chin up looking at the heavens for directions along the way.
Feel the fear and do it anyway!!! At the end of the day, I love running and believe that everything will eventually fall into place. I may not know the whens, the hows, or the whys of this journey but I am certain that it just has to be.