Monday, May 14, 2012

I wanted to write about my last workout before I went on vacation last week. It left such an imprint on soul that I am still thinking about it and replaying it in my head. I blogged about my anxiety I had about doing the workout and getting myself prepared mentally for it. I had lots on my mind that morning trying get a huge workout in and packing up everything for a 7 day cruise. Plus that week was high mileage in the midst a very HOT heat wave that hit the Carolinas. We were experiencing July/August type heat/humidity. Running in that heat was wearing me down both phyiscally and mentally. On Friday AM, I think the temp was somewhere in the high 70s with 100% humidity and ridicolous dew point. I went to the Y as I was going to attempt the run outside but wanted to have Y treadmill handy if things were going well. I set out for my 3 mile warm-up and immediately I felt like I was suffocating in the heat & humidity. Manage to slog through the 3 mile warm-up and get inside for the 3X3 miles. I was sopping wet for just the 3 mile warm-up and I am sure my heart rate was ridilcoulsly high already when I jumped on the treadmill. I wasn't in the most positive spirits after the warm-up and the first 3 mile Interval was okay but I was really struggling to keep my mind positive. My legs felt fine but my tummy was upset in a big way and chest heavy from breathing in the humidity. The paces felt acheveable from a leg turnover prescpective but really tummy and chest pain were not helping matters. I jogged the half mile in between the first and second interval. I felt fine in the first mile of the second interval but really started to struggle mentally and phyiscally in that second mile - I wanted to quit like never before, I was hurting and literally started crying and started conplating calling it a day. Than a thought appears in my head - "Don't cry to quit, cry to keep going, you are already in pain get something from it". I finished that 3 mile interval out somehow. Than the 3rd one came and again I was tired and really had to fight through and pray. I prayed several prayers during this workout but I didn't get any sign - no notes of faith appear, no angels came to whisper words of encouragement, no red cardinals appeared at the window to let me know God was giving me the strength. Nope not this time..I thought of this quote I once read that during the test the examiner is often quiet. Than it hit me that God has already given me all the experiences in life and running to keep me strong during this test and it was on me to muster the strength to get it done. I need to tap into all that gifts that God has already given me. This gave Digging Deep a whole new meaning to me that morning. I had to dig into that deep well where emotions fueled my beliefs where I knew I would never give up and that with God by my side anything is possible. I finished this workout depleted emotionally & phyiscally. I coughed for atleast an hour afterwards and cried on and off for a couple hours. I remember the first hour of our drive crying silently in the passager seat. Nick would ask me what was wrong and I wasn' sure why I had felt so emotional but I think I had tapped in a very deep place to finish that workout and the high mileage week that I was just feeling very raw and exposed. I think I had found that place where I need to go when the going gets tough and feel almost thankful that God lead me there. I learned that there in a deep well of strength within me that I had never tapped in to before. 16 miles done - 3x3 mile @ 7:15-7:20 average pace sandwiched between 3 w/u & 3 c/d and half mile jog/rest intervals between - Caution do not try this workout in extreme temps :-)

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