Be Happy

From following others runners blogs over the years, I have noticed the tendency to become withdrawn from the world of running and with that posting updates happens less often. I, myself, am no exception. I even noticed I don't write in my training log during these times. It almost like writing it down somewhere makes it real and than less you have to face the reality of an injury the better.

I found myself not wanting to write at all over the past few days. But I thought I would give a try to today see if something flowed out me and eased my mind.

For 90% of the part, I am doing great. I am more at ease and almost wish I would given myself this ease of mind and peace during my 3 weeks of recovery. I didn't do that at all, I spent the whole recovery period spinning my wheels wanting to run and ended up more frustrated than I should have been. My current stretch of no-running period is allowing me to try new things that I didn't make time for when running & training hard. I have been to several yoga classes that I love and missed due to training. During both of the classes this week, I came away with new poses that my body & mind enjoyed immensely. I have spent lots of time doing general strength and mobility training. Yesterday, I spent the afternoon in a sunny field playing with a medicine ball. It was so much fun that I still have picture of it in my head and smile when I think of the fun I had.

Now sprinkled in between my fun, I have had intermittent bits of sadness & fear that I have to fight away. Allowing yourself time to feel what is your feeling but not allowing yourself to dwell is a real struggle. There is almost a constant dialogue going on in my head. As soon as something silly like you are losing all that fitness you built pops in my head replacing it "if this difficulty is taking me closer to my goal, than surrender to it allow this struggle to do it's job which is make me strong, more resilient and strong in my faith".

Goal for the day is to continue to be at peace and find love in the moment even when life is not going as planned. It is as simple as Don't Worry, Be Happy :-)

Note of Love

So to remind myself of staying in an awesome mindset this weekend when powering through my cross-training. I wrote this note to myself to see I went into the kitchen which for Moms we are in more than any room of the house other than the sleep hourings in bed.

Anyway I put this up on Friday evening - only to find my note had a friend the next day.

I am blessed :-) I am loved.

Not sure but still hopeful

Chasing your dreams hurts :-) I was not thinking that by openly saying I chose to hurt would I have to embrace this pain right away. It is not the physical pain that one associates with running rather it the emotional pain of the disappointment and trying to stay strong, positive & hopeful in midst of a setback.

Went back to PT/ART guy, he said there is still too much swelling in the lower leg compartments from Graston to run. He wants me to wait till Wednesday to try. I felt like I got socked in the gut as I was really hoping for another declaration from him. Oh I what I want to hear. "Jamie - your calf is healthy and you can get back at it". Nope, I guess that would be to easy and maybe life wants me to hurt a little more before I can truly savor my comeback.

When you decide to open yourself up to a dream. Your heart becomes very vulnerable in a way that you feel when you first start learning how to love. Remember your first loves maybe in Middle or High School or College when you thought the pain from the heartache would literally swallow you whole. Well this about sums up chasing your dreams....

There is a Herculean price to pay for making yourself vulnerable to a dream.

I am off to lick my wounds on a 90 minute elliptical session.

PS - Jamie - Where you are now is by no means where you will be a week from now. Keep your chin Girl!! Don't let doubt in and do not feel that you won't be in the position to get after your goal. You will..and you will leave no doubt in the wake of your return strides. Yay - The fruit loop in me has taken to writing myself notes of faith, hope and love.

Dear Jamie

You’re overwhelmed. You're feeling mentally stuck. Your calf muscles are being bitches. You are unsure if you be even able to run tomorrow.

You’re searching for answers - the right, perfect, easy answers.

The tough love: reaching your potential isn’t easy. Nothing great is supposed to be. If it was, how would we grow? How would we realize our full potential if we weren’t stretched and challenged? If were not tested with obstacles - How would learn to fight? How would we learn to have faith? How would know you truly wanted this? The thing is - Fighting for your dream is going hurt in so many ways. You are risking your heart and being so vulnerable to the turbulant nature of the journey. You were made to run and do this thing! You were not put on this earth to hide in your house and wait for your dream to come true. You were made to CREATE it. In life and running, you have to invest to make things happen. You have to do the work - day in and day out. All of the work - the runs, the workouts, the little stuff, the mental work and you will have to focus everyday. The timing will never be perfect. I repeat: the timing will never be perfect. This is your time. This is the only life you get. This moment is all you really KNOW you have. Deep down, you know that. You have everything you need right now to do what’s on your heart. Why live in fear of what other people think? Why live in fear of the unknown?


You are going to get stuck mentally, physically, and emotionally. You are going to come up against obstacles. You may make a mistake. But, remember: there are no mistakes, only lessons. It’s your choice… stay stuck OR get a move on. The kicker: your reward for stepping into the fear is the unmistakable joy of living your life instead of renting it. Your dream is worth leaping for. Today is the day you get unstuck!! Relax, enjoy the work and let God handle the details.

Recovery Run

Today I had 8 miles at a recovery pace scheduled. The change in weather was much welcomed. Sunny and warmer air was a pleasant break from my 14 miles in cold, wind & rain from yesterday. In fact several of my runs last week were on the rainy and cold days. Maybe that added to my lack of excitement around running last week. Hoping the sunner skies forecasted this week will improve my mood. I was much more myself today running than last week and I didn't have to browbeat myself to get out the door.

Funny how sometimes on a run, your mind and body can be on different pages. I realized today that my body knew what it needed to recovery from last week. No matter how much I wanted to push the pace on a mental level, my body wanted to hang out in my recovery pace range 9:30-10:00. I really was surprised how slow my body just needed to go this AM. I guess after yesterdays long run where I ran 14 miles @ 8:46 pace, it needed to recover. I really enjoying letting my body determine the pace rathar than letting my mind think too much. I am confident that my body did what needed to be done so I will be 100% recovered and ready for a tough workout tomorrow.

So Monday Fun Day Recovery Run Done 8 @ 9:46 average plus 4 X 20 Hills Sprints (I was so sluggish on these too).

Happy Monday!

Week in Review

So after all the anticipation and excitement about my return to training, I had a very blah week. I keep feeling like I should be super jazzed about running cause I had been so looking forward to it. I can't say that I was willing or happy participant in my runs this week. I went kicking and screaming to it each one of them. Although I was super pleased that I got over my bad attitude and got every mile in. Not sure why the change in mojo but I need something to get me really on track. Plus my calves have taken to my return by wanting to be all tight so I have to do extra work to keep them from getting pissed. Stick, Massage, Stretch, Ice & Repeat ......Perfect example of there being great weeks in a training and also weeks where it is just work and get it done. Hoping the tide will turn next week.

Monday 8 Easy
Tuesday 3 W/U, 5 X 7 minutes, 1 c/d
Wednesday Off
Thursday 3 W/U, 6 Mile Progressive Tempo, 2 C/D
Friday 8 Easy
Saturday 9 Easy
Sunday 14 Easy

Total 59 Miles

When you lose the Greatest Love of All

I am sure many you have heard of Whitney Houston's passing. It is truly so sad on so many levels. I am sure many of you remember spending many hours singing to her songs, growing up and looking up to this women who embodied strength and boldness. I personally remember singing my heart out to the Greatest Love of All when I was a little girl.

I am left wondering how she lost her way in life and most of all how did she lose "The Greatest love of All". Deep sadness for her but for everyone that has lost the ability to love themselves.

If you listen to this song I think you'll be struck in the heart as I am now...

You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. - Buddha

Another Attempt to disconnect from Facebook in process

There are benefits to facebook that I enjoy. Connecting with Family and friends that you don't otherwise get a chance to be able to witness their lives or see their families grow. This is the world of facebook that I enjoy. I have family and friends all over the states due to our living in several locations in our adult life. Sometimes life moves so fast and you don't get the time to call to check in as much as you would like to so facebook offers you to get a chance to see some faces you love and hearing about what is going in your loved ones life.

There is a apart of facebook that I finding depressing and sad. It is almost like it pulls you in using your love of family and friends that turns that love upside down and now you looking at things that do not matter in your life. You are all sudden pulled in a world of compare and stare. A couple months back I went on a facebook diet to see how the affects on me would be if I didn't check in and be consumed by the going on of other peoples lives. My first step was to try to only have my facebook information be available to my close friends and family by defriending people that I didn't have daily connect with but than I started feeling bad about defriending people. Why defriend this person and not that person? UGH! So I just decided I would not go to facebook and use other forms of communication to connect with people. It was wonderful and some how I go sucked back in again. And the horrible feelings of disconnect started again. All of sudden I no longer felt proud of my accomplishments because ____ is doing better or constantly hearing the onslaught of I am this, I did that, Looks at me, starting filling heart and head again.

IMO the Facebook world can be a very bad place to visit - some people post their highlight reals of the day in an attempt to make themselves or their world look perfect and they are looking for constant "likes" or affirmations that are awesome or their world is awesome. This stuff needs to come from your heart and your mind. If you get trapped of needing or even wanting the attention it come become of vicicous cycle.

I am very guilty of some of the compare game. I never use to care about what others thought of my accomplishments as they were mine alone. There was purity to that and I have often wondered why I have started to care about others achievements and than compare against mine own. The only answer I can contiune to come up with is facebook. This was not part of my world 2 years when my motivation was pure and no one had a clue what I was up to. Only me and my close friends knew what was happening in my life now all sudden 350 people know...what that is a lot of people knowing way too much about my daily life.

We are not to be cookie cutters of each other. To fit in a box. To walk inside the lines. To be a xerox copy of someone else. We were each made uniquely. With unique gifts, a unique set of traits and tools. Yet why do we strive/compare to be just like ____ or ____ ?

The tragedy is that we compare our tools to another. We were blessed with gifts that others do not have and vice versa. The pull of comparison always leaves you empty, or chasing after unattainable goals of being like someone else. Then you start playing by other peoples rules and you wonder why you are struggling? Or you aren’t doing as well as them? You know when you are spending hours on facebook “checking in” on friends….? I am calling your bluff. Most of the time you are comparing, whether its competition or just friends, you subliminally rate yourself based on anothers status updates. I know because I guilty of this habit.

No, I don’t think facebook is all bad as long as you can go on keep your intention pure to connect with loves one. But I want to be aware, and I want you to be aware of how quickly your heart can be affected. So guard your heart. The second you feel less of or start interalizing you have gone too far. Shut it off, choose to focus on something that reminds you of your purpose here. What really matters is you. You being 100% you. Not a copy or a remix of someone else.

So today, ask yourself who you are trying to be? Yourself or someone else. Dig deep at what your heart really wants and follow it. Don’t look back or at anyone else for that matter. Follow your passion, then you are truly serving the world and your purpose in it.

Just Watch Me

I Can and I will - Just Watch Me

I feel so strongly that my dreams will come to fruition. It may take 2 years or it may take 4 years but I believe in my dreams and most of I believe in myself to have the courage, determination and perseverance to see it through. I believe in me with all my soul!”

About 2 years ago, an elite running coach, Pete Rea, told me I had lots of potential and that my running goals were not lofty enough for my ability. I never really understood what he meant back when I met with him. I had no idea what he was leading into and I was like oh I could probably run a bit faster but at the time I was just looking to enjoy running and the process of training for my 4th marathon. I had no idea what was lurking inside me. I didn't really have the drive or even the inclination to see what he met. At that time, I was happy balancing my 30-40 mpw with the trials and pleasures of raising young children. I was just using running as me time. I had a friend & training partner training for a marathon and would run with her. She was running 50-60 mpw weeks and that was crazy town to me back then. Not for her but for me - really I had no ambition to see where more miles could lead me. I was happy on my path of the least amount miles to get the marathon done well and of course PR.

All of sudden it is all clicking to me. All of sudden I know my path and his words keep ringing in my head. I feel empowered by my big dreams that came from a seed planted in my head about 2 years. Who knew that with some watering and nuturing that seed is turning into this maginficent dream.

I was wondering out loud to a friend today while we were sharing our dreams and goals - why didn't I had the ambition to do this when I was younger because it would be so much easier than :-) But that isn't my path cause now I have the resources and support system to really go after this hard and in the 20s I didn't have those. So maybe this jounery and story will be about it never being too late to chase yours dream and that you don't have to be 20 to get after it.

That is what I want my story to be about anyway :-)

When work, commitment, and pleasure all become one and you reach that deep
well where passion lives, nothing is impossible.--Nancy Coey

First Workout Back - Success!

Today was amazing. I felt good from the start. The workout was 2 mile w/u, 6 X 3 Minutes @ 5K pace with 2 minute recovery jogs, 2 mile c/d. I hit the first 3 minuter feeling fresh and had to hold back from dropping in the 6:30s. And by the last 2 the legs were turning so I let them go a little bit.

Here is how it went down split wise - 6:45, 6:45, 6:45, 6:45, 6:38, 6:38 - Strong and consistent!

Feels way awesome to be back at it. Funny how 6 months ago I dreaded work like :-)

Rest of the week are easy miles. So that was the most I get to stretch my legs for a week.

Hibernation

Well folks I am going back into training mode which for me means hiberation from Feb through June. It was nice catching up with everyone over the past few weeks of coffee dates, lunch dates, dinners out, generally being around and available for chit-chatting.

This is my last week before I get back to my routine of taking the social life easy and being wholely consumed by running & family. By doing this, I allow myself to recharge and focus on my family in the evenings. I have found it to a be a good balance and worked well in the late fall. Plus we are going into baseball season for Christian so I will be a little more distracted.

If I start practing this routine while my miles are relatively low than it will be easy to maintian as the miles climb in this training cycle. I am very excited to take on this next training cycle. The fall mileage gave me confidence that I can handle the step up in mileage. I am really not sure what my next mileage level will be. I am on a need to know basis with that stuff. Although I do try to poke and pry it out of Jeff, he is very elusive about it. I do know that it will be significantly more than my previous cycle and if my next 2 weeks in the 60s is a reflection on where these next 18 weeks will go. I think I might hit the 80s at some point. The only clue I have from Jeff is that an increase in volume and aerobic threshold work is what is in the planning stages for Grandmas. Yippee!

I have almost recovered 100% from my head cold. Although I do have a lingering headache which very well could be the change of seasons headache that I get when we are going through change in season here in the South. Winter is about to pass with plenty of spring like temps and other seasonal changes. Trees are blooming and birds are singing....

New Shoes

Well this just had to be my post for the day as a packaged just arrived. It is so fun when that package happens to be your Brooks order :-)

Most of you know that I have been loving running the PureConnects so it will be no surprise that a couple pairs of those were ordered. I have a good 200 miles on first pair of Connects and figure I got 2 more good weeks with them before I have to start rotating in a new pair.

So a couple pairs of shoes, shirt and sports bra to help me Run Happy!! Have a good one ya'all!!

Running Changes Everything

After 3 days of feeling pretty bad off, I started to feel much better today. I was still bit groggy and stuffy but the intense headache has passed and cough has eased. I was able to get in a decent 7 mile easy run on a beautiful & warm afternoon. Felt good to run past an hour as this is the farthest I have run since the marathon. Mentally I needed the time on my feet to sort myself out. Was feeling a bit frustrated with not having running as an outlet these past 3 weeks but the run made it all better. Running changes everything!

It can change your perspective on life, what is happening in your life, how you feel about someone or an issue, allows you pour out your soul to the heavens above in a surrender and come away feeling at peace with the answers that may flow through you all in an hour. Clarity & Peace!!! Wow..running is magic :-) I am excited that next week I have a healthy dose of mind clearing & peace filling miles coming my way. It is time to go back to work!! Yeah baby!

Beyond happy about the next 4 months.

All you need is the plan, the road map, and the courage to press on
to your destination. Earl Nightingale

Love, Live and Dance

I am sure you heard this song before! It is a 90s song??? I was listening it to the radio and it struck my heart. Not only for my own dreams but for my children's future dreams.

This song reminded me how strong my faith and desire to live my dream out so that my children can do so as well. I want to be able to counsel them in their life and know without a shadow of doubt that following your dreams always is a worthwhile endeavor and it will always pay off no matter the obstacles that come into your path.

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes
I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance
I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin' might mean takin' chances, but they're worth takin'
Lovin' might be a mistake, but it's worth makin'
Don't let some Hellbent heart leave you bitter
When you come close to sellin' out, reconsider
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance
I hope you dance(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along)
I hope you dance
I hope you dance(Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder, where those years have gone?)
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes
I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you all Dance!!!

Love, Live and Dance!

Its a doosey

Well folks my common cold has me down today. Blah! Yeah I felt sort of bad yesterday but today it hit me way worse and not sure if it due to running with it yesterday.

I am congested - stuffy & sneezy nose, headachy, dry cough and just out of sorts. Hoping a good nights sleep will help so I can run tomorrow. I think it is just a head cold that will pass in a couple days.

Whats good about this cold? While I wish it would have hit me last week. I will take it happening this week. It is happening during my recovery cycle any ways. I will not be missing any key workouts. I may have to take it super easy which is the purpose of a recovery cycle. If I end up with a few more days off - I am sure it is for the better. Glad to get sick in a recovery cycle versus during a heavy training week. Hope this gives me immunity for the rest of the winter and spring.