Monday, February 27, 2012

Not sure but still hopeful

Chasing your dreams hurts :-) I was not thinking that by openly saying I chose to hurt would I have to embrace this pain right away. It is not the physical pain that one associates with running rather it the emotional pain of the disappointment and trying to stay strong, positive & hopeful in midst of a setback.

Went back to PT/ART guy, he said there is still too much swelling in the lower leg compartments from Graston to run. He wants me to wait till Wednesday to try. I felt like I got socked in the gut as I was really hoping for another declaration from him. Oh I what I want to hear. "Jamie - your calf is healthy and you can get back at it". Nope, I guess that would be to easy and maybe life wants me to hurt a little more before I can truly savor my comeback.

When you decide to open yourself up to a dream. Your heart becomes very vulnerable in a way that you feel when you first start learning how to love. Remember your first loves maybe in Middle or High School or College when you thought the pain from the heartache would literally swallow you whole. Well this about sums up chasing your dreams....

There is a Herculean price to pay for making yourself vulnerable to a dream.

I am off to lick my wounds on a 90 minute elliptical session.

PS - Jamie - Where you are now is by no means where you will be a week from now. Keep your chin Girl!! Don't let doubt in and do not feel that you won't be in the position to get after your goal. You will..and you will leave no doubt in the wake of your return strides. Yay - The fruit loop in me has taken to writing myself notes of faith, hope and love.

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